First dates can often be a little nerve-wracking — this is totally normal. By the second date, you’re probably starting to get a sense of whether or not you’re genuinely into this person. And by the third, there’s a good chance you might be starting to catch some feels. You’ve been out three times, after all, and at this point, you may start to feel more relaxed around each other, which can pave the way for you to learn some more personal things about them. There are several things to know about someone by the third date, like how they grew up or what their goals are, but if you want to make sure the two of you are on the same page, experts suggest making sure you know the four specific things below.
"In this dating age, a third date can be a milestone," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Elite Daily. With so many people out there to get to know, deciding that you want to continue seeing this one person is kind of a big deal, and that goes both ways. If someone wants to continue seeing you, "it’s safe to say they are into you, want to know more, and you both are having a great time," Trombetti says. But before you determine if you can really see this person as part of your future, experts recommend knowing these four things by the end of the third date.
1If you enjoy their company
Make sure you genuinely this person’s company! "If you are dreading the dates or worry too much if you have enough in common, you might have answered your own questions about where this should head," Stefanie Safran, Chicago-based matchmaker, tells Elite Daily. It’s so important to date someone you genuinely like and can have fun around. A third date is a great time to do a self check-in and ask yourself this question.
2If they’re going to be around in the near future
You should definitely know if this person is physically going to be around before you fall too hard. It’s never fun to hear that someone you’re developing feelings for is moving away, no matter the reason, and especially if you can see a potential future with them. "If you meet someone and they tell you that they might be moving for a job or other reasons, you may think twice about how much you want to invest," says Safran.
3If there’s potential for long-term chemistry
Your chemistry with someone can be several things, whether it’s that first initial spark or a deeper emotional connection. By the end of the third date, "you have a sense of whether you have true chemistry developing," Trombetti says. "I am talking about the sparks that make you like someone more the longer you know them." This kind of chemistry is beyond just a physical attraction. It’s more emotional and has the potential to turn into something serious.
4If you want the same things
While you may not exactly be picturing a long-term future with this person just yet, knowing whether or not you have the same goals is important. "If a person makes [it] known that they never want to get married, or they are not looking for something serious, or that they do not want kids, listen to that," Safran advises. "People usually don’t say things that they don’t mean."
On a less future-focused note, if you’re looking for a serious relationship right now and they want something more casual, that’s definitely something you should learn about them from the get-go. "You definitely [want to] know what they say they are looking for out of a relationship… a serious one, a commitment, or someone just to hang out with," Trombetti recommends.
If you learn the answers to these four things, and you’re happy with them, you and your potetial new bae are probably on the right track. And if you go from third date to fourth date to exclusive, it’s important to keep these conversations going. "You don’t want to be that person in a relationship that you never moved toward something more serious because you were scared to talk after many years of investment," Safran says. "Be a good communicator about your needs and stick with it. Your heart will thank you for it in the long run."
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