Ask Brian: My girlfriend keeps breaking up with me before her nights out

I was with my girlfriend for two and half years.

We never really did anything as a couple to say. Unless it was going out she was never up for it.

She would always have a reason not to go for dinner or the cinema, I don’t drink and it’s hard not doing things I ever wanted.

So we had a fight the week before Christmas about her always going out and never doing anything activities or going away… she broke up with me and said she wanted to do what ever she wanted.

Every night she would break up with me before she went out and then ignore me all night til she got home.

Then I’d get a text saying I love you nearly every night.

This time it was different, she has since told me she is happy single and I don’t know what to do. Do you think I should get back with her?

 

Brian replies:

Anyone who is  a regular reader of this column knows I am always one to give someone the benefit of the doubt in situations.

The vast majority of the time, there is an innocent explanation for seemingly suspicious behaviour.

However in this case, you are better off rid of this girl. She is clearly cheating on you.

I have never heard of someone breaking up with their partner before nights out only to rekindle things six hours later.

She obviously has some sort of flawed logic that if she breaks up with you, kisses (or does more with) someone else, it’s not cheating because she is single. Even if she texts you 20 minutes later to get back together.

I understand the predicament you faced before the relationship ended. It is difficult to not be a drinker in Ireland, especially in social situations. Some people assume you’re a recovering alcoholic or just “weird” – when the vast majority of people who don’t drink do so for the physical and mental health benefits.

The warning signs have been there for some time in my opinion – the fact she was unwilling to do anything with you that didn’t involve alcohol aren’t the actions of someone who loves you.

In fact, the vast majority of couples do the activities you mentioned whether they drink or not – going to the cinema or a night away aren’t great flights of fancy.

You clearly want to be able to do these things with her – and if she isn’t willing to sacrifice a night out for a weekend away with you she’s not worth your time.

I would cease all contact with her and begin the process of moving on. Block her number from your phone, and whatever else a Destiny’s Child song would tell you to do in these circumstances.

She’s not worth anymore of your time – you deserve much better.

 

Do you have a problem you’d like some advice on? Email [email protected]  to submit in confidence.

Twitter: @Brian_O_Reilly

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