Is Instagram ruining YOUR love life? The four warning signs that seeing all those ‘perfect couple’ snaps is putting your relationship at risk – including holding your phone more than your partner’s hand
- EXCLUSIVE: Anthropologist Dr Anna Machin has revealed warning signs
- Buying into snaps of ‘perfect’ couple can lead to depression and low self-esteem
- Arguing over what you and your partner post online is a warning sign
- Says couples should ban social media while together and develop cynicism
Seeing snaps of perfectly loved-up couples snuggling up under a gorgeous sunset on Instagram can certainly make your own life seem somewhat lacking, whether you’re single or scrolling while your partner snores on the sofa.
But could being bombarded with images of perfect couples be having such a negative impact that it’s actually putting the future of your relationship at risk?
Now, Dr Anna Machin, evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is renowned for her pioneering work into the science of human relationships, has warned just how dangerous buying into the perfection you see on Instagram can be.
Dr Anna has teamed up with dating site match.com, which has conducted a majoy study revealing that a third of both couples and singles feel disillusioned by images of ‘perfect’ relationships online.
This can lead to feelings of depression and low self-esteem that can leave you questioning the relationship, which could lead to arguments or even break-ups.
Here Dr Machin reveals the four warning signs your love of Instagram could be ruining your love life, including arguments about what you and your partner post about each other, and how you can overcome it.
If you spend a lot of time scrolling through social media, seeing snaps of seemingly perfect couples could be damaging your happiness in your own relationship (stock image)
THE WARNING SIGNS SOCIAL MEDIA IS RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
If you regularly find yourself becoming envious of the relationships you see online and begin to question your own as a consequence. Our survey showed that heavy social media users are twice as likely to be dis-satisfied with their relationship then those who use it only intermittently.
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2. ARGUMENTS OVER POSTING HABITS
It can cause arguments if there is a difference between what and how often you and your partner post about each other. This can lead to the partner who posts more believing the other is not as invested in the relationship as they are.
3. TOO MUCH FOCUS ON SOCIAL MEDIA
If your partner complains that you spend more time posting about your relationship and checking ‘likes’ than you spend taking part in the relationship IRL.
4. MORE PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH YOUR PHONE THAN YOUR PARTNER
If you spend more time holding and checking your phone than you do holding your partner’s hand on a date.
Research shows that more than 40 per cent of people post loved-up snaps of their seemingly ‘perfect’ relationship, even when things are going wrong. So it pays to develop a healthy sense of cynicism (stock image)
HOW TO STOP SOCIAL MEDIA IMPACTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
REMEMBER WHAT ‘REAL’ LOVE IS
In the Match survey over 70 per cent of singles who use social media and 60 per cent of those in couples say that images of relationships give people unrealistic expectations of what real love is.
It suggests to us that there is an ideal way to be in love and it is about perfect people on perfect beaches clutching perfect flowers and wearing perfect diamond jewellery.
However, the research also shows that Brits believe it’s the everyday elements of life that show ‘real love’, such as being able to talk about anything, making you laugh and even helping you with household chores.
These are the sorts of things that can’t be shown on social media but can sometimes mean the most.
When you spend time with your partner, dancing, hugging and laughing will produce a greater release of dopamine that checking for likes on Instagram (stock image)
DEVELOP A HEALTHY SENSE OF CYNICISM
Just remember that people will post about their relationship online and use hashtags such as #couplegoals or #blessed when things aren’t going so well in real life – 43 per cent of Brits have admitted to doing this.
It also suggests that love is the ultimate goal for everyone which can leave singles feeling pretty rubbish about their lives.
Remember that often the post has more to say about the individual posting it – are they trying to handle how they are perceived? Are they trying to make themselves feel better after an argument? – than what their relationship is really like.
BAN YOUR PHONE DURING DATES
When you are on a date or at home and spending time together, avoid social media.
You will only get the benefits of a relationships – the wonderful chemicals of love – if you actually focus on your partner. Laughing, dancing, singing and hugging are where the real dopamine hits are, so much more powerful than a like on your Instagram page.
Human love is very complex which means everyone’s journey to love is different, which is what makes it such a wonderful thing.
So, don’t bother comparing yourself to others but celebrate the fact that your love is unique to you.
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