Newlyweds are now going on separate honeymoons

The honeymoon is over.

Apparently, couples are no longer celebrating their first days of wedded bliss watching sunsets in the Caribbean or sightseeing in Paris. Instead, according to the New York Times, they’re booking separate, solo vacations or trendy “unimoons.” Plus, new research says 1 in 4 Americans report they actually get more out of travel when doing it alone.

So much for “till death do us part.”

What would make two people who just decided to spend the rest of their lives together duck out so quickly? Well, take the Times article’s lead couple, who couldn’t agree on a post-wedding destination. The groom wanted to go to France … to watch soccer. The bride didn’t. So she “visited a friend in Toronto,” while her new hubby headed to Europe to watch sports with his bros.

How romantic!

Then there was the couple who had to go on separate work trips after tying the knot and decided to tack on their own solo honeymoons to those. When the groom, not really enjoying his alone time in Paris, walked past the Eiffel Tower and was so overcome with longing that he decided to ring his new bride, “she was busy in a meeting.”

“It’s a very individualistic, modern practice of efficiency over everything else,” that groom tells the Times. “I think that it’s tied with workaholism and being on the work-and-spend treadmill when you can’t even coordinate one of the most important times of your life together.”

Tragique!

OK, I kinda get it. When I was young and planning my own wedding, I didn’t much see the point of a honeymoon. After all, my partner and I had been together seven years. We had lived together for over a year. We had gone on various vacations and road trips together.

Then I got married, and I understood.

For one, a wedding is rarely just between the two people saying their vows. Even the most chill couple will often have to contend with nagging parents, sparring family members, last-minute mix-ups (like in our case screwing up the venue times or running out of alcohol) and embarrassing friends who will inevitably drink too much and embarrass you even more.

Trust me, you’ll need a few days where you can actually spend time together, just the two of you, away from all family and friends — for your own health and sanity.

But more importantly, honeymoons are wonderful! Truly. You talk a lot and eat a lot and make love a lot and get giddy about the prospect of spending the rest of your lives together — all without worrying about work or your apartment that’s falling apart or your cat who needs to be fed or checking your email or Twitter or any of the other mundanities that consume our daily lives.

And I know that not everyone can afford a two-week sojourn to the tropics. That’s OK. My husband and I spent our honeymoon in a hotel room (generously provided by my bridesmaids) in Pittsburgh — Pittsburgh! — city of steel. And honestly it couldn’t have been better if it were in Paris.

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