They may be couple goals now, but it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for John Legend and Chrissy Teigen.

The musician appeared on Monday’s episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, and he spent a fair amount of time getting candid about the highs and lows of his relationship with wife Chrissy Teigen, whom he married in 2013 after meeting on the set of a music video in 2006.

Getting vulnerable, the songwriter admitted he wasn’t ready to be the man Chrissy needed when they first started their relationship, saying:

“I think I was more selfish then. I wasn’t a great partner at the beginning of our relationship. Even though I was very into her and very excited to be with her. I was still selfish. I was in my mid 20s, still not ready to fully be the committed partner that I am now.”

It was only after time — and working on himself — that he was able to become who he is today, a family man who doesn’t take his wife for granted, he continued:

“Once you really figure out that you love someone and you really love so much about them and you really want to make it work with that person, like you have to decide, I’m going to do the things that I need to do to be a good partner in this relationship. And I’ve just grown as a person ’cause of that too. When you stop being so selfish when you think about not only the joy you get from a situation and the pleasure you get from it, but you also think about your responsibility and your commitment in that situation. I think you just grow, and you mature. I think part of it is it’s just a matter of time. You need time to become that person you want to be.”

Their evolved love is the inspiration for his song, I Don’t Love You Like I Used To (above). And no, it’s not a breakup song like it sounds! John told Jay the track is about love evolving for the better throughout a relationship. Elaborating, the All of Me vocalist added:

“When we first met, we were like, very attracted to each other, our chemistry was great, but that level of attraction is more like infatuation at the beginning of a relationship. And love when it is able to stand the test of time, it has to be deeper and more real than that. We’ve been through enough together where it’s really fortified us and made us stronger. Those tests have made us grow together and realize things about each other that we didn’t know. And going through all of that, to be able to write and sing a song called I Don’t Love You Like I Used To. It’s different now but it’s better.”

Love it!

The couple faced their most difficult challenge in 2020 when they lost their son Jack. At the time, John also took to his music to channel his pain and grief in a song called Pieces. While he and the Cravings author have been able to heal throughout the last few years, they’ll never fully get over the loss, he revealed:

“Like I said with Chrissy, I’ve seen so much growth through our grief and through our tragedy. It’s always going to be a part of who we are and I’m fine with that. It’s part of who we are. We carry it with us and it’s OK.”

It was actually the stars’ children Luna, 6, and Miles, 4, who helped them get through the immensely tough time, he continued:

“You also have to commit to working through pain, and I think that we both committed to doing it. Like doing the work that we needed to do to get through it. And I think having, already had two kids together was definitely helpful because they just bring so much joy into our lives and laughter and fun and they’re great focus for our energy. And even when you’re going through deep grief on losing a pregnancy you still have these two beautiful babies that you love, and I think that was certainly helpful.”

It’s so important to have others to lean on! We’re glad their kids could be a support system for them and an inspiration to keep going during those dark days. They are now expecting another child, so here’s to hoping life only goes up from here for this family! One thing is certain, this pain has pulled them together. Through the emotional roller coaster of the last few years, John’s gained a new appreciation for Chrissy, he gushed:

“I’ve just learned so much about her personality, how she reacts to stress, how she reacts to life, how she can find a joke even in like the craziest, even in grief, she’s able to find humor. I think you see so many things about your partner as you grow together and as you experience adversity together and what I’ve seen from her just made me love her more and value her more. I think she’s cooler now than I ever thought she was. I just really have seen her in all kinds of situations. I just value her more, and in awe of her more than I ever have been.”

So sweet!

It’s great to hear John and Chrissy are doing better as a couple now, especially after all they’ve gone through! Check out more from the podcast (below)!

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