Noel Clarke has shared he was suicidal after sexual offence allegations were made against him last year.
In 2021, the Guardian published allegations of misconduct from 20 women who knew Clarke in a professional capacity.
The Doctor Who star ‘vehemently’ denied ‘any sexual misconduct or criminal wrongdoing’ and said he was ‘deeply sorry’ if some of his actions had affected people ‘in ways I did not intend or realise’.
Speaking out for the first time since the reports emerged, Clarke has claimed he considered taking his own life but reconsidered after a conversation with his son.
‘I needed to do something unsurvivable,’ he said. ‘I was reaching for a book and the knife fell out of my pocket. My 11-year-old said, “Daddy, why have you got that?”
‘I said, “It’s just to pick the dirt out of my nails…” And he said, “Oh, OK,” and somehow the ordinariness of that snapped me out of it.
‘Up to that point, I had been waiting for the right moment to kill myself. I was out of here. Done. I didn’t care about anything. My mind was destroyed.’
Clarke added that his 20-year career was destroyed in 24 hours as a result of the allegations.
‘I lost everything,’ he continued to the Mail On Sunday. ‘The company I built from the ground up, my TV shows, my movies, my book deals, the industry respect I had. In my heart and my head it has damaged me in a way I cannot articulate.’
In March, police confirmed that no criminal investigation will be launched into the allegations.
The Metropolitan Police said it conducted a ‘thorough assessment’ and concluded that the information received ‘would not meet the threshold for a criminal investigation’.
Scotland Yard said in a statement: ‘On Wednesday, 21 April 2021 police received a third party report relating to allegations of sexual offences allegedly committed by a male over a period of time.
‘Following a thorough assessment by specialist detectives it was determined the information would not meet the threshold for a criminal investigation.
‘We have shared our findings with the third party organisation and updated the complainants who subsequently contacted us following the initial report.
‘If any further criminal allegations related to those already assessed are reported then it will be thoroughly considered.’
Following the allegations, ITV pulled the concluding episode of drama Viewpoint, in which Clarke starred, and broadcaster Sky, which had aired his series Bulletproof, said it was halting work with him.
Bafta also suspended Clarke’s membership of the organisation and his outstanding British contribution to cinema award, which he had been handed in April 2021.
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