Welcome to Election 2022, everybody!

In a world where the potential next challengers for the Presidency could include a Black white supremacist and someone literally in federal prison for espionage, both of whom were on reality TV shows… f**k it, why not?

Well, Mike Itkis took those words a little too literally, as it turns out. The third-party candidate is running for Congress in New York’s 12th District against incumbent Jerry Nadler. For those who don’t know, Rep. Nadler is a rather popular and scandal-free Democratic leader and the Chair of the House Judiciary Committee. He’s unlikely to be unseated. Not only that, Itkis himself is a registered Democrat. So what’s his deal?

The 53-year-old Army cyber operations officer has a pretty specific platform — and it’s all about being sex positive! He’s voiced his support of legalizing sex work and making sexual rights explicit. That all sounds totally reasonable, right? The shocking part is how he’s grabbing the spotlight for his issues.

In order to make some headway, so to speak, Itkis has dropped something of a Hail Mary viral political ad: a porn video.

Itkis posted a video entitled Bucket List Bonanza — co-starring and directed by porn star Nicole Sage — to Pornhub to try to make headlines and draw attention to his, er, positions. Speaking to NY’s City & State, he claimed he was usually “very much an introvert” so this was a wild experience — but an important one:

“I’m kind of a nerd who doesn’t like to be the center of attention if I can avoid it. But I thought the issues I’m trying to address are so important… I wanted to have my issues talked about in some way.”

He put his mouth where his money is, one might say. He elaborated:

“If I would just talk about it, it wouldn’t demonstrate my commitment to the issue. And the fact I actually did it was a huge learning experience, and it actually influenced items on my platform.”

Itkis calls the video “a conversation piece,” but it’s anything but hypothetical — and there isn’t much talking. In the 13-minute long clip, he and Sage undress and full-on have unsimulated sex, on camera, in multiple positions.

Will it get him any votes? We’ll have to take a look at the exit poll, we guess. More importantly, will people still understand “hanging chad” jokes in 2022? The answer to both is probably not.

The platform Itkis is trying so hard to push? The “very liberal” politician’s campaign site proudly puts his sex positive ideas forward advertising he’s:

“Not married. No kids. Not celibate. Atheist.”

In addition to saying he wants to “legalize sex work,” and “end adultery laws” he is also pushing for abortion and LGBT rights — though his framing seems rather uniquely self-serving as a single man looking to hook up. His site explains he’ll fight for sexual rights with the following angles:

• Actively oppose the conservative idea that sex should only happen between a man and a woman who are married to each other
• Right to NOT become a parent in case of pregnancy – redefine abortion debate as a right to unplanned sex

He also mentions that “men should not be required to support biological children without prior agreement.” See what we mean? It’s pro-abortion but seemingly mostly because it’s in the best interest of dudes that raw dog porn stars…

While Nadler’s campaign didn’t address the controversy, their Republican opponent Mike Zumbluskas told City & State he understood the move:

“You gotta do what you gotta do. The media ignores everybody that’s not a Democrat in the city.”

Again, Itkis actually is a Democrat, even if he’s running as a third-party candidate. Like we said, he doesn’t stand a chance in the polls against his fellow Dem, but who knows? Maybe he’ll find a career he’s more suited to involving a different kind of congress?

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