I married my husband without ever meeting before – my family said he was after a US visa but I didn't listen | The Sun

IN the spring of 2018, Shalonda Trent accepted a Facebook friend request from a young man in Nigeria named Precious Ubaka Spik.

Though the two had never met, Precious told her he was drawn to her profile.


Shalonda’s arresting voice – she posted a lot of singing videos – her faith, and her beauty, he said, made him want to be her friend.

And for the next three years, that’s about as far as it went: the two halted communication but remained friends on Facebook.

Then in 2021, Shalonda received a message from Precious out of the blue.

He said had been in love with her since he first laid eyes on her online and was hoping to start a relationship with her.

After a video chat to ensure he wasn’t a catfish, Shalonda fell for his charm and accepted his proposal to marry her.

Despite her family’s protesting, warning her that he may be using her for a Visa or conning her into a marriage for monetary purposes, Shalonda took a leap of faith because it just felt right.

Two years later, the couple is happily married with a six-month-old girl.

Here Shalonda tells their unique love story:

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I was engaged to another man when I noticed a Facebook friend request and a message from Precious in the spring of 2018.

“Hi,” he wrote. “I love your writing and your singing! Would love to be friends.”

I didn’t know him at all, but I guess he found me through friends of friends on Facebook. I was always posting videos of me singing, which he liked.

We messaged each other a few times, just small talk. I was working at a Macy’s warehouse in Cheshire, Connecticut and he was a chef in Nigeria, so I didn’t expect anything much.

Besides, I was engaged to Owen, and I had a very full life, until we broke up in December 2019. I then had a short-lived romance with my hairdresser on the rebound.

During all this turbulence in my life, I didn’t speak to Precious. Life was busy for us both and we lost touch – I didn’t even think about him.

Around May 2021, I was feeling unlucky in love and wondered if I would ever find a decent guy. I even prayed to God to send me a husband soon!

Then out of the blue, Precious messaged me.

He was now an English teacher living in Kazakhstan in Central Asia and this time, he knew exactly what he wanted from me.

“Shalonda, I really like you,” he began. “I think we should get to know each other and get together.”

I was stunned. And before I knew it, Precious was telling me his life story and saying how much he wanted to be with me.

It was all so weird to me that I didn’t respond. I admit I left him hanging but he was a stranger, and I didn’t know what his motives were.

I trolled his Facebook page and I saw through his posts that he had a bachelor’s degree in statistics, that he was goal driven, that he seemed to be a man of morals and he appeared to be a regular, nice guy.

So, after some soul searching, I messaged him back. The Facebook messages turned into texts, and we were texting every day. I was an in-home care assistant making good money and I was able to talk at all times of the day.

I began to feel euphoric whenever I heard my phone ping with a text from Precious. There was something about this guy that was different, and I liked him, but the practical side of me was afraid that I was being cat fished so we arranged a video chat.

To my relief, he looked just like he did in his pictures, only more handsome. About a month later, he wired me $2,000 to buy an engagement ring after I agreed to get married.

We did a Zoom call for the official proposal. I had my friend Asia with me, and he had his sister Chidinma and his brother Eminem with him. It was so romantic – he wore a white shirt, and he told me how I was everything he was looking for in a woman.

“You can put the ring on now,” he said, and I placed the ring on my wedding finger. I was so happy, I honestly couldn’t wait to be his wife – I know it sounds crazy, but I just knew he was the one for me, even though we had never met.

My family, on the other hand, was totally opposed to our engagement.

My dad James was adamant I was being taken for a ride by this handsome stranger from Nigeria.

“He just wants an American visa,” dad said. “You need to meet a local guy, not someone thousands of miles away who you have never even met!”

My mom Angela was the same. She flat out told me that I was making a mistake and that I shouldn’t be doing it. When I told her that we were getting married in Nigeria, she flipped out and begged me not to go ahead with it.

Even my brother Jaquam was against our union.

Right up until I got on the plane in December 2021 to fly out to get married, he tried to talk me out of it.

“You shouldn’t be going to him, he should be coming to you,” Jaquam told me at the airport. “If he really loves you, he will come to America for you. What if he’s misleading you and he’s a con artist?”

I had thought about all the above, but I didn’t believe them. I was in love with Precious, but I also wasn’t stupid. It was a very difficult few months before our wedding when it felt as if everyone in my family were against us.

Of course, I second guessed myself a few times. In the face of my family constantly telling me Precious was nothing more than a Nigerian conman out for a visa, it was hard to keep the faith. Thankfully, my friends were supportive and encouraged me to follow my dreams.

Ultimately, I believed in us. We had arranged to meet for a couple of days in Dubai before we flew into Nigeria for our wedding – I thought that meeting on neutral turf halfway between America and Nigeria was a good idea.

Precious was waiting for me when I got off my plane. He very gentlemanly gave me a hug close but we didn’t kiss – I thought, “Wow! He’s as handsome in real life as he was on the few video chats!”

Whatever doubts I had disappeared almost immediately. I was finally meeting my fiancée for the first time, and it was every bit as exciting and romantic as I had hoped. I knew then I had made the right decision.

We were married in Port Harcourt, Nigeria on December 9th surrounded by his family and friends. My family watched via Zoom, and it was one of the best days of my life. There was dancing, good food and a lot of wine drinking – it was wonderful.

After the wedding, we stayed in Nigeria for three months before I went back to see my family in America for two months. By this time, I was pregnant and so excited to be a mom – my family was now more supportive and just wanted me to be happy.

We moved to Kazakhstan and that’s where we are living now. We are both teachers, and life feels so good with our daughter Amiyah Elise, who was born September 29, 2022.

I have zero regrets. Yes, we have had to learn to understand each other – our cultures are very different – but we love each other, and our baby girl and our faith is so strong, I feel like we can handle anything that life throws at us.

Precious, 33, said: “I was attracted to Shalonda because of her faith in God, her singing and her beauty! She just was the complete package of what I was looking for in a woman, so I told her how I was feeling hoping she maybe felt the same.

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“It was impetuous, and when she didn’t respond after I told her my true feelings, I thought I had blown it and she wasn’t interested. But I prayed that she would come back to me after I had a dream of her wearing a wedding dress.

“Luckily for me, she did. And as soon as we met in person right before we got married, I just knew that my instinct had been right, and she was the one for me!”



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