I'm a 'gentle' dad – I handle my daughter's meltdowns with hugs and kisses instead of screaming and punishing her

WHEN your kid is crying, it's easy to get overwhelmed and lash out.

However, this dad doesn't punish his daughter when she's done something wrong. He simply hugs her, using gentle parenting.


Jessica Lee Murray, a loving mom of a toddler, shared a video of her husband talking to their sobbing daughter who had been caught red-handed doing something she was not meant to.

In the video, the dad had their daughter sitting on his lap, telling her: "Take a deep breath. Grace, let's talk and I will help you.

"What do you want? Do you want a blue stroller? Well, we need to talk first and I will help you.

"First of all, both mommy and daddy said to stop your body. You are to not go in the garage by yourself. It's dangerous in there. There are tools that could hurt you, you scared mommy and daddy.

"We thought you were going to get hurt."

When the little girl began to cry harder, thinking she was in trouble, the dad told her she was not.

After she had understood that she could not venture into dangerous places, she simply hugged her dad.

At this time, she had calmed down enough to hear him out as he offered to look for the "blue stroller" she was looking for.

As the video went on, the mom explained their gentle parenting and the logic behind the interaction: "Often parents think a child's emotional upset is an opportunity to teach about emotions.

"Adults will try to get children to explain or give reasons for their emotions.

"But children do not yet have the skills to think clearly in these moments.

"Instead, these moments should be used as an opportunity to work through those emotions.

"Here my husband tried to go over rules but recognized our daughter's need to calm down before she would be capable of listening and understanding.

"He then provided our daughter with a safe space and helped her calm down by using phrases like 'I'm going to help you' and offering a hug.

"She knew he was willing to help and understood her needs because he recognized why she was upset and verbalized to her his understanding of the situation and her needs.

"He validated her feelings which helped her calm down. She was then open to listen to the reasons behind the safety rules.

"When you give your child the words to explain the reasons for their emotions, it will teach them how to understand, process, and manage their emotions in the future."

Many parents who also practice gentle parenting applauded the couple, with one writing: "Understanding that kids literally have no control over their emotions at certain stages was a game-changer.

"It changes them from 'being difficult' to needing understanding and support. If you do that, they will calm down and you can teach them what they need to learn."

A second one added: "I've started replacing 'you're okay' with 'you're safe' because something they don't feel okay and that's okay too!"

Do you agree with how this dad handled the situation?


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