It’s long been associated with loud little boys – but more and more women are now wondering if they have undiagnosed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Here, experts reveal why it’s never too late to get help.

Forgetfulness, impulsivity, difficulty regulating your emotions or keeping on top of tasks… Any of this sound familiar?

You’ve probably heard of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and if you only associate the condition with little boys who can’t sit still in class, you wouldn’t be alone – but there’s much more to it than that. 

It’s estimated that ADHD affects 3-4% of the adult population, with the majority of cases going undiagnosed.

In recent years, there’s also been an uptick in women accessing help for the disorder. 

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Boys are still more likely to get a diagnosis than girls – in the UK, the male to female ratio is 3:1 – but this is changing.

In 2019, 7,700 women got themselves tested for the disorder, and in 2021 that number rocketed to more than 250,000.* 

“Female ADHD used to be considered a ‘silent form’, because it tends to manifest in a less hyperactive form than one might see in males,” says psychologist Dr Alison McClymont, who has ADHD herself. 

“Female sufferers can simply appear distracted or like a daydreamer.

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"They also may demand less attention from medical and education professionals, as they’re not likely to be the loud, disruptive kid in the classroom.

"They are the quiet child achieving on an age-appropriate level, but are never quite reaching their absolute academic potential. 

“Adult women have now looked back on their educational and social experiences and realised maybe it wasn’t ‘just them’ – there was actually something else going on and that was ADHD.”

If you think you might be living with undiagnosed ADHD, no matter your age, the experts are here to help…

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

ADHD comes under the “neurodivergent” umbrella term, which encompasses autism, dyslexia and Tourette’s among others.

With each, the brain differs from a “normal” brain but does not mean the person has a lesser brain.

ADHD behaviours tend to fall into one of two types: inattentiveness, and hyperactivity and impulsiveness.

Some people experience a mixture of both, which is often called attention deficit disorder (ADD).

In children and teenagers, hyperactivity stands out and is more commonly seen in boys, while inattentiveness presents more in girls and is harder to spot. 

In adults, hyperactivity is less common, and symptoms are more subtle, making them tougher to identify.

Signs can include:

• Trouble concentrating
• Being easily distracted
• Difficulty staying organised
• Impatience and restlessness
• Struggling to sit still
• Leaving tasks unfinished
• Putting an unusual amount of effort into staying on top of things
• Low self-esteem, mood swings, struggling to deal with stress
• Being impulsive with money, sex, etc.

WHEN TO SPEAK TO YOUR GP

Forgetting to pick the kids up from school once, or not being able to sit through the latest Netflix hit series, doesn’t mean you have ADHD. 

Henry Shelford, co-founder of ADHD UK, says: “The question to ask is: Is it having a significant detrimental impact on my life?” 

Alison adds: “If you have a pattern of struggling with relationships or work – maybe you constantly miss deadlines, feel misunderstood by your boss and colleagues or are crippled by the anxiety of schedules and routine – you should seek professional help.” 

Speak to your GP who may refer you to a specialised ADHD centre.

THE PROBLEM WITH MASKING

It’s not surprising that so many women have slipped through the ADHD net.

Women with the disorder often struggle with their self-worth, because they find aspects of life harder and feel like it’s their fault – easily done if you have kids and are prone to putting your needs last.

ADHD was also only formally recognised in the UK in 2000, so lots of adults missed their chance to be diagnosed in childhood, Alison says. 

With so few girls getting diagnosed in adolescence, many women go well into late adulthood not knowing they have ADHD.

By that point, other factors can continue to get in the way of a diagnosis.

“Girls and women are better at ‘masking’ – going to extraordinary lengths and putting in extraordinary effort to fit in,” says Henry.

“When someone’s masking is so good, it hides how hard they’re finding things.

"They can, in some circumstances, present absolutely fantastically, so other people just don’t appreciate the cost of having ADHD.” 

Often it’s only after a number of setbacks or difficult experiences that a woman will reach out for help. 

“Women with ADHD may struggle greatly in social relationships, as they may have a poor understanding of how they come across,” explains Alison.

“It is extremely common in girls with the condition to struggle with building and maintaining close friendships and relationships.”

And it’s a similar situation in later life, too. “Challenges with colleagues, friendships or romantic relationships, which after a while just seem insurmountable, might prompt women to seek help,” she adds.

“Sadly, they often believe they are the ‘problem’ or that people don’t like them, rather than understanding ADHD is the ‘problem’.”

HOW TO GET A DIAGNOSIS

First, take the adult screener test at Adhd.co.uk – it’s recognised by the World Health Organisation and covers key signs and behaviours.

You’ll receive a PDF of your results, which you can share with your GP.

An online test isn’t a diagnosis, but it’s a good starting point.

“We also direct people to the Right To Choose service,” says Henry.

People in England can visit Adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose and if waiting times for treatment in your area are high, you can choose a more accessible mental healthcare provider.

This is a legal right your GP has to offer. 

MANAGING SYMPTOMS

“Coping is not good enough,” says Henry. “We know people with ADHD can thrive.”

You just need a strategy in place.

If your GP refers you to a specialist and you’re diagnosed with ADHD, there are five types of medication you could be prescribed on the NHS.

The main one is methylphenidate, which stimulates certain bits of the brain to improve concentration and amp up attentiveness.

You may be offered talking therapy, CBT or social skills training.

Dialectical behaviour therapy (a talking therapy for people who feel emotions very intensely), exercise, supplements such as omega-3 fatty acids, zinc and iron, as well as good sleep, can all help alleviate symptoms. 

ADHD UK and other charities offer support groups, including specialist ones for women, online and face-to-face.

You can also work with therapists who specialise in ADHD to find ways to manage day to day and regulate your emotions.

SHOULD YOU BE WORRIED?

Many people who have undiagnosed ADHD find themselves struggling with other mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression.

The most worrying thing, says Henry, is that one in four women with ADHD attempt suicide.** 

This sounds scary, but it’s more indicative of a lack of support and knowledge than something inherent to ADHD. 

“It is crucial that sufferers understand it’s not them, it’s ADHD,” says Alison.

“This can be liberating – all of those fractured interactions or difficult experiences at work or school can now be reframed, removing the shame and guilt a sufferer might have carried for all those years. 

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“ADHD is simply a different form of synaptic connection in the brain, and it can bring many wonderful things – increased creativity, spontaneity and a new way of viewing the world.

"It doesn’t have to be a burden, it can be a gift.” 

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