As we sorted through the numerous gifts in the loft, my husband Tom rolled his eyes. 

‘I know, I know, there’s far too much here,’ I hushed him, feeling… well, embarrassed, if I’m honest.

Over the last six months, I’ve been picking up presents for our two children – Theo, five and Immy, three – here, there and, it turned out, everywhere.

And after worrying whether I had done, or bought, enough – now, I’ve ended up with far too many.  

How many presents you buy your children and the amount you spend on them is a divisive debate – with some parents seeing Christmas as a time of excess, posting lavish displays of gifts under the tree on social media for the world to see.

On the one hand, isn’t unnecessary indulgence what the Christmas season is all about? From the amount we eat and drink, to the silly stocking fillers we panic-buy at the last minute, and the amount we spend on countless Christmas ‘experiences’… 

‘Tis the season of excess, is it not?

I have to admit, when it comes to spending, I have no idea what I’ve forked out on my two children

Whereas, for others, it’s more about setting fun traditions – focusing on family, rather than frivolity.

Now, I love more than anything for my children to bound downstairs and hear them gasp at the amount of gifts Santa has brought. But the thing is, as I looked at the Toy Story figures, animal toys, books, dinosaurs, bunk beds for Immy’s dolls and so many more gifts, I realised that my children maybe didn’t need three jigsaws each – or quite as many superhero figures.

I have to admit, when it comes to spending, I have no idea what I’ve forked out on my two children this year. Maybe that in itself is indulgent, that I don’t have to keep track of every £10 or £20 I spend on them.

But I’ve done what I can to spread the cost and been as savvy as I can, starting to shop from about June, and buying when I can afford to.

There’s a huge pile of Spiderman books I bought from another mum on a local Facebook group for £8 for Theo; the dolls house my friend gave us for Immy for free, and the half-price dinosaur I picked up on Black Friday, at £40 – it’s Theo’s main present and by far the most expensive one we’ve bought him. 

Will it spoil them, getting so many presents all at once? I’m not too worried. After all, Christmas comes but once a year.

However, would it matter to them if I’d only got them one jigsaw puzzle each? Or one superhero figure? If they’d had 15 presents, rather than the 25 I reckon we have for them? It’s so easy to get caught up in the ‘festive spirit’ and go overboard – but is it really necessary? 

No, it’s not.

Yes, Christmas is about presents – but it’s not just about presents. It’s about spending time with your loved ones.

So many people – myself included – go over the top, with some even taking out loans or getting into debt to make the day ‘special’. But no day is worth getting into debt over.   

This week, I read an article from mum-of-one Nell Frizell who claims that she’s not bought her five-year-old son any Christmas presents at all so far (she’s repainting his bedroom this year instead, and is setting her own traditions about her family’s festive season).

No matter how much I’m regretting my crazy Christmas spending, I just couldn’t go as far as Nell and not buy my children anything. Although I do think I’ve gone too far, I do want my children to wake up to gifts.

‘I’m not buying him anything. For his birthday I knitted him a jumper. For Christmas I might make him some new curtains,’ she told The Independent.

‘This is a child who by no means is going without,’ she added. ‘My son has two working parents, we have a mortgage, his school lunches are free because he is in reception; if he needs new shoes, wants a new book or asks for an ice cream (even in December) we buy them. We can afford to.’

One mum-of-three who I always think about this time of year is Emma Tapping. Emma, from the Isle-of-Man, first went viral in 2015 when she put a picture of her tree on social media with nearly 300 presents underneath – all for her three children, who received 85 each.

‘I’m not asking anyone else for a penny of the money, I am paying for the kids all by myself,’ Emma told Holly and Phil on This Morning back in 2016 – admitting she spent £1,500 on them.

‘I think if I was giving them 365 gifts a year, then I would be spoiling them… We don’t go out drinking Jagerbombs on a weekend. We work hard all year round, if that’s what we decide to spend our money on, then so be it.’

It’s no wonder her festive frivolities have received a rather… mixed reaction, to say the least – with some people worrying about her ‘unbelievable’ actions on her ‘poor children,’ and that they were being spoiled. That it was ‘far too excessive’.

Seeing Emma’s tree hidden behind a huge mound of brightly-wrapped boxes smacks of unnecessary indulgence. How on earth can any child truly appreciate that many presents? Surely, half that amount would have seemed just as much to an excited child.

I think it’s more the parents who become obsessed with how much their children get at this time of year – and it’s so easy to do.

At the moment, Theo and Immy have no clue where their presents come from (apart from Santa’s sack, of course) but I hope one day they do realise that not all of their presents are new or full-price – and that they appreciate them all the same.

And I guess that’s the thing – it really doesn’t matter what you spend on your children, whether it’s a couple of gifts for £1 each (and, honestly, you can do that), enough to decorate a room – or thousands of pounds on, quite literally, hundreds of toys. 

For children, yes, it’s a wonderful treat to wake up to presents – but how many and how much they cost really doesn’t matter to them.

It’s the memories you make at this magical time of year that count – and you can’t buy them.

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