How much would the 12 Days of Xmas really cost? From a partridge in a pear tree all the way to the 12 drummers… the full price your ‘true love’ could pay
- A Reddit user took the time to add up the cost of all 364 gifts in the carol
- The answer was nearly 50 per cent more than an year’s salary on minimum wage
The 12 Days of Christmas is a firm favourite at this time of year… but how much would buying all the items in the famous song really cost your ‘true love’?
The answer appears to be more than a year’s salary on minimum wage, plus a lot of hard work and a potential legal battle with the King.
So, if you are short of last-minute ideas about what to get your significant other this Christmas, perhaps look elsewhere.
With less than two weeks to go before the big day, a Reddit user asked the AskUK subreddit: ‘How much would the total cost be for the 12 days of Christmas?’
One sleuth in the comments section posted their breakdown of the costs, not only for each item but across the whole song – for example, a partridge in a pear tree is actually sent twelve times, once on each day, and so on.
Before setting out their account, the Reddit user clarified: ‘I’ve used live birds as opposed to dead, so racing pigeons and the like.’
Brits have taken it upon themselves to see how much it would cost to buy all the gifts referenced by The 12 Days of Christmas, starting with a partridge in a pear tree – £156
A partridge in a pear tree: £156
The first day of Christmas sets the tone for the issues at play when dealing with this question.
Someone else asked in the comments: ‘What did you allow for the pear tree? 30 years cultivation or just chuck the partridge in the nearest one and call it a day?’
But it turned out the suggestion had been reasonable, if not generous, with £150 being set aside for ‘a mature fruiting’ pear tree – one which could be reasonably expected to support an adult partridge.
That leaves £6 for the bird, which appears to be the approximate cost of one, depending on the time of year, according to Heart of England Farms Ltd.
With ‘a partridge in a pear tree’ appearing in all 12 of the lines of the Christmas classic, that means a total of £1,872 being spent on partridges and pear trees to properly meet the criteria of the song.
Two turtle doves: £200
Turtle doves are not the easiest birds to get hold of – both literally and metaphorically – but you could land a couple for roughly £200
Claiming that two turtle doves would come in at £200 was another which brought some questions.
In fact, the Reddit user who posted the breakdown settled for racing pigeons rather than turtle doves, but they are in the same family so it seems acceptable.
Someone suggested: ‘Give me a packet of crisps and a big butterfly net and I’ll get you them for free.’
‘These are nice mid range racing pigeons, classy birds,’ was the reply.
And, in fact, this is a similar price to what turtle doves could come in at – a now-expired on Bird Trader has a pair of European turtle doves at £180.
The pair of turtle doves are gifted on 11 occasions, summing to £2,200.
Three French hens: £135
French hens are a much more affordable winged option, costing £45 a-piece
It was specified that these are French Maran hens, which come in at £45 a-piece (Pipinchick Silkies) – hatching eggs would be cheaper but time is of the essence when it comes to getting a Christmas present in so that is not an option.
Times the ten days of Christmas these are gifted, that makes 30 French hens for £1,350.
Four calling birds: Unknown
The ‘calling birds’ originally referred to as ‘colly’ birds – which there is not much of a market for – meaning you might have to resort to catching your own
The poster said: ‘Originally this would have been “colly” which would have meant blackbirds.’
If we accept that as the aim – four blackbirds, or other corvids – we might find the market somewhat lacking when trying to purchase these.
The crisps and butterfly net suggested for the turtle doves, therefore, could come in handy by the fourth day.
This would mean quite a lot of effort but comparatively low cost.
Alternatively, the person doing the totting up in the first place suggested that you ‘might need to dye some chickens’ – 36 to be precise by the end of the 12th day – resulting in ‘legal issues and Chris Packham on your doorstep’.
Five gold rings: £1,500
Gold rings are one of the more expensive, but more easily sourced gifts at roughly £1,500 for five
Day five introduces an intuitively expensive but relatively straightforward gift – five gold rings.
From H. Samuel, an 18 carat gold ring costs £299, so give-or-take a few quid, this makes the five one and a half thousand pounds, up to £12,000 when you’ve sent eight sets of them.
Six geese a-laying: £120
The internet sleuth who posted the breakdown clarified that geese do not lay in December, but one would only set you back £20
Back to bird-hunting for day six, but since geese are kept as pets they are easier to source than some of their fellow presents.
At time of writing, geese can be bought from £20 per bird on Pets4Homes, making it £120 for the six.
Times the seven days which geese are gifted, that makes £840.
This came with one extra note: ‘Geese don’t lay in December.’ There are some things money cannot buy.
Seven swans a-swimming: Unknown
At the time of the carol’s writing, stealing a swan was punishable with treason, but doing so now will still see you in a grave situation having stolen the King’s property
This is undoubtedly the most fraught of all the presents.
Famously, all swans – specifically unclaimed mute swans – in England and Wales are property of the crown.
At the time of the carol’s writing, stealing a swan was punishable with treason, although this is no longer the case – it would still be theft though making you a legal adversary of the King.
Eight maids a-milking: £732.16
It was decided that all the ‘human elements’ would earn £11.44 per hour, making eight maids a-milking cost £732.16 for a day
At this point, new problems presented themselves.
‘I’m not sure how to treat the human elements,’ the commenter said.
‘Are they there for one day? Forever? Do we need their salary or do we give them all minimum wage?’
In the end, it was settled that all the human workers would be paid £11.44 per hour – the minimum wage from April 1, 2024 – for eight hours each day.
In the case of the eight maids, this means an outlay of £732.16 each day – £3,660.80 over the five days they are required.
Nine ladies dancing: £823.68
Similarly, nine dancers would be £823.68, although professional dancers would probably cost more
The nine dancing employees come in at £823.68 per day – £3,294.72 for four days.
This came with a caveat that professional dancers tend to make more then minimum wage – roughly £30,000 annually according to the poster – but perhaps you could lure in some amateurs for a little less.
Ten Lords a-leaping: £915.20
This system seems to get the Lords in for an absolute snip at £2,745.60 for their three days of leaping
This seems like a good deal to have a set of Lords at your service for a day; £2,745.60 for three days.
As UK Lords have an allowance of at least £171 each day that they attend Westminster, this could be a hard bargain to push through.
Eleven pipers piping: £1,006.72
Pipers are only needed for the last two days of Christmas according to the rhyme, which means eleven will cost £2,013.44
With their service only required for the final two days – the pipers cost your ‘true love’ £2,013.44.
Similar to dancers, professional musicians could earn more towards the £30,000 mark.
Twelve drummers drumming: £1,098.24
More musical professionals round off the list, with bringing in 12 drummers for the day setting you back just short of £1,100.
Added to the rest of the list – just for the 12th day – this would be the final element of a £6,687 outlay.
Like the pipers, drummers could feel hard done by with this wage, but on £11.44 per hour, 12 of them would cost just short of £1,100 for the final day, which would cost a total of £6,687
Total: £31,074.80
So, overall, The 12 Days of Christmas, and the total of 364 gifts, cost £31,074.80, and do not forget the possible legal cases in the pipeline too.
And that is a whopping £9,401.20 over what you would earn in a year, if you worked eight-hour days, five days per week, on the minimum wage now (£10.42 per hour) – £21,673.60.
Despite the carol originating in England, the cost of its contents is tracked more formally in the U.S., where the Chief Economist of Provident National Bank in 1984 conceived The Christmas Price Index (CPI).
In its first year, all the goods were worth $12,623.10, and after an initially slow increase, the associated cost of Christmas shot up in the last decade to be $46,729.86 this year.
The recent year-on-year increase comes with the notable exception of 2020, where the index did not include any ladies Dancing, lords a-leaping, pipers piping or drummers drumming due to Covid-19 restrictions on live performances.
However, one flaw was noticed by a different Reddit user, which had not been accounted for by the internet sleuth or the CPI.
‘Since the eight maids are a milking, do we also need to purchase cows?’ They asked.
This was added to by the person who first commented the breakdown, who said: ‘That’s an excellent point. Do they come with a cow, bucket and stool, or are we operating on a modern pasteurised nozzle system?!’
It is fair to say that if you go as far as the ‘pasteurised nozzle system’ the grand total of The Twelve Days of Christmas will be, significantly, higher.
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