‘I abandoned my daughter on holiday to have a romantic time with my wife’

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A father has taken to Reddit to ask users if he was in the wrong for “abandoning” his daughter the day before their planned family trip away.  

An anonymous created the post “Am I an a***ole for abandoning my daughter on vacation?”

He wrote: “My wife and I have always dreamed of celebrating our 40th anniversary with a luxurious vacation. Just the two of us, reliving the romance of our early years.

“We had it all planned out for years now and were excited beyond words.

“Enter our adult daughter Jane. Jane and her husband got wind of our plans and promptly invited themselves and their two young children along.

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“I originally put my foot down and told them this trip was just for us which upset her some.

“But my wife has a hard time saying no to Jane, as she is the youngest of our children and our only daughter, and she didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so she reluctantly agreed to let them join.”

He said he “wasn’t thrilled” about the arrangements at the time but wanted to make his family happy.

The anonymous user added: “I knew my wife was also okay with the idea of a ‘family’ trip even if she was heartbroken we wouldn’t get our romantic trip.”

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He said the original hotel resort was not child-friendly so they had to change to an all-inclusive family resort, so his grandchildren could stay. 

“We paid for the resort and our grandchildren’s plane tickets. Jane and her husband only had to pay for their own airfare”, he wrote.

The post went on: “Here’s where things get complicated. As the vacation got closer, I started having a change of heart. I realised that our 40th anniversary was a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, and I wanted to honour it in a way that was true to our original plans.

“My wife and I might not be able to afford a trip like this again for quite some time and it’s something we always wanted to do.

“So, without consulting anyone, I switched our tickets last minute to go to the romantic destination that my wife and I had originally planned for.

“I did not tell Jane or her husband. I didn’t even tell my wife until the day before our flight left, which was a day before Jane’s flight left for their vacation.

“It wasn’t an easy decision and I feel guilty about it. But I wanted our 40th anniversary to be the special, intimate celebration we had always hoped for.

“We called Jane after we landed to tell her and she was extremely upset to say the least.

“She seemed of the idea that we were going to look after our grandkids so she and her husband could have alone time and now that I abandoned her they would have to do it all themselves.”

He went on: “I hung up on them when my son-in-law started shouting and my wife and I enjoyed the rest of our trip.

“They came back the same day we did but have not answered any of our texts and Jane seems to be ignoring me.

“My wife told me she vastly preferred our trip to the family trip we would have taken but she still doesn’t like how Jane is mad at us and wants me to apologise.

“I’m not sure I want to after learning Jane and her husband were using us for free babysitting and a free trip but I feel like I should just to keep the peace.”

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