DEAR DEIDRE: I FANTASISE about walking out on my wife and being free from our approach to life.
But before I go I’m considering leaving her with a gift to soften the blow. A baby.
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We have been married for two years and together for six.
When we first got together she was such good fun — the life and soul of the party.
She is 29 and I’m 32. But as soon as we got married it was like she had a personality transplant.
Everything in our home had to be perfect.
Suddenly, I didn’t dress well enough, my job wasn’t good enough and, most of all, she demanded we try for children.
I noticed whenever she spent time with her two best friends, who are married and have a baby each, she would return sour-faced.
I work hard, as a landscaper, and earn a decent living.
But my philosophy is very different to hers. I’d rather take a Friday off and enjoy a long weekend, while she is all about me doing all the overtime I can.
We bicker non-stop and even though I recognise she is a good- looking woman, I don’t fancy her.
We hardly have sex and I’ve even started to sleep on the sofa.
I haven’t met anyone else, but I know I can’t stay with her. She’s sucking the life blood out of me.
I’ve started looking at one-bed flats to rent and have given myself a deadline of the end of this year to move out.
The only problem is I do feel guilty about leaving her alone.
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I realise women have a narrow window of opportunity to have children.
So I’m considering leaving once I’ve given her what she really wants — a baby.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If you are sure you want to leave, then getting your wife pregnant is the least advisable step.
At 29 she is still young and a woman’s fertility doesn’t start deteriorating until her mid-thirties.
You have fallen out of love, not committed a crime. But if you have a child together, it will make it so much harder for either of you to move on.
It certainly isn’t ideal for any child to be brought up in an environment where the parents are unhappy.
It would be far kinder to be honest with your wife, explaining you want to end your marriage to give you both a chance at happiness.
Of course it won’t be an easy conversation, but if it’s the right one, you’ll be hugely relieved afterwards.
I am sending you my support packs, Ending A Relationship and Thinking Of Divorce, which will help you to do this.
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