I’m sure my girl’s cheating on me. She says I’m paranoid and need to trust her.
But how can I when she’s so hard to pin down? We have a great time when we’re together; our sex life is hot, and we have a laugh. But the minute she leaves my side she disappears off radar.
She doesn’t call me for days, then I spot pictures of her out clubbing on Facebook and social media.
I see she’s surrounded by other guys, but she claims they’re either spoken for, or gay, or both.
Over the summer she spent four nights in Marbella with “friends”. I didn’t even know she was out of the country until my mate warned me.
I confronted her on her return, and she maintained that these “friends” were all guys she’d grown up with, virtually brothers. But do brothers grope and gyrate in pictures? Not in my family they don’t. I can’t help feeling I’m being played.
My girl insists that she likes to be spontaneous and free, but I fear this is a smokescreen. I drive myself crazy imagining her in the arms of other men.
She’s snorts that I’m crazy and need professional help but who can blame me for being suspicious?
I’m a creature of habit and Iike to know where I stand yet she treats me like someone she can pick up and drop on a whim.
At the moment we’re estranged. I can’t pin her down for a date. She keeps saying she’s busy at work.
When I accuse her of sleeping around, she blasts that there’s something wrong with me – something that only a doctor can fix.
She bleats that she isn’t a cheat and it wouldn’t cross her mind to lie or deceive, but I don’t know what to believe any more.
It’s depressing watching our relationship go down the pan, when there’s life left in this thing yet. What can I do?
JANE SAYS: I hate to break this to you, but it sounds as if your complicated relationship is in its death throes.
You and your girl are hardly speaking – let alone seeing each other – and even when you do speak, you row and accuse. Not healthy.
Why don’t you call a truce? Ask for an adult meeting on neutral ground.
Apologise if you’ve hurt or upset her in the past. Then tell her that you’re extremely confused. Can you both agree on where you’re going wrong and agree to fix the problems? She needs to understand all relationships go through highs and lows, but you’re willing to fight for this one. Is she?
Instead of “stalking” her on social media I suggest you start being honest with each other. Doesn’t she realise how humiliated that trip to Marbella made you feel? Does she ever consider your emotions or reputation?
Sadly, if this girl is no longer making you happy; if she’s not willing to give you the stable relationship you crave, then vow to find someone who shares the same aims and values.
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