DEAR DEIDRE: SCROLLING through TikTok, I stumbled across a reel on gaslighting. Now I’m terrified I’ve been unintentionally doing this to my sister.
I’m 29, and my sister’s 20.
She’s in her second year at university and is having some issues with her new housemates.
For the last couple of weeks, she’s been calling me every day in tears.
One of the girls she lives with is very opinionated and often makes comments about her.
It’s mostly about trivial things, like what my sister cooks for dinner or how she dresses, but my sister, being sensitive, takes these comments as insults.
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I find myself asking her, “Is that really what happened?”
But this video said that’s a form of gaslighting.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Gaslighting is a way of undermining somebody’s self-belief.
You weren’t questioning her to devalue her feelings but do be careful not to do it every time she comes to you, as this could make her question herself.
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Some people are very sophisticated in their bullying techniques so even if it seems trivial don’t be too quick to dismiss your sister.
I’m sending you a support pack on emotional abuse which explains it in more detail.
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