“So when I hurt her with all the actions I did, it really affected me a lot because of how much I let you down and our relationship, because you viewed me as a son.”
The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 7-year-old daughter — continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Each week, “Nori” recaps new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
The episode started with Khloe recording herself on her phone announcing that she, Kourtney, and Tristan were going to do a socially distant workout. Their first workout in 3 weeks. Tristan was really flirty with Khloe. Khloe said that since California had been on lockdown, her and Tristan had been quarantining together but he wasn’t living with her. He was safe to go back and forth from his house to hers. Khloe credited quarantine for making them spend time together and she actually liked it.
North West: I too credited quarantine for making me spend time with someone I don’t like. Saint.
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Kim and Scott went on a socially distant walk. They both had been dying to get out of the house. Kim let Scott know that the lockdown was going to last for two more months. Scott was in disbelief. He thought the quarantine would be fun, but between the tragedies on the news, homeschooling his kids and dealing with his own struggles, he was having a hard time and getting stir crazy.
At Khloe’s house, Khloe and Tristan celebrated True’s birthday, on Easter Sunday. Khloe had planned a big party, but because of the Coronavirus she had to cancel it. Even though there wasn’t a party, Khloe appreciated celebrating with just the three of them because it was special and intimate.
NW: I’m sure True was relieved to find out she wasn’t going to have to wear a matching powder blue slip dress and duster with her mom like she was forced to do like her last birthday party.
Later Kris, Scott, Kendall, Khloe and Rob video chatted. Scott announced that he rented a beach house in Malibu and said that they could come and hang if they wanted. Kendall said she was definitely coming especially since the beach was private. Scott was going stir crazy, so he rented the house to change his scenery. It was also good for his kids because there were a lot more activities to do.
NW: Sofia loves to make sand castles. Good call Scott.
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Kendall had to drop off the call, but Kim hopped on. Kim noticed that Khloe was primping and asked her, “Where are you going?”. Scott said Khloe was doing all of that because Tristan was coming over, but Khloe denied that was true. Kris pressed the issue by commenting on how much makeup she had on. Rob yelled, “Quarantine bae! Let’s go!”. Scott then posed a question to the group: Has Khloe slept with Tristan yet? Rob said, yes and Kris even went as far as to say, “Oh 100 percent!”. Khloe said she hadn’t. The only thing they have done was a peck on the lips.
Kim said she thought Tristan and Khloe had slept together and that Khloe was lying to her, but she sat them both down days prior and talked to them. Kim was convinced that they had not slept together.
NW: Am I the only one surprised that Uncle Rob could afford the internet?
Scott asked Khloe if Tristan had tried to make a move on her. Khloe said Tristan tried to make a move everyday, but she said no because she loved how friendly they were. She wasn’t sure if it was right that she was hanging out with Tristan knowing his intentions, but not knowing hers. The family assured her that it was fine and that no one was dating during the pandemic anyway.
At Khloe’s house, Khloe talked to Kris on the phone about Kourtney’s birthday car caravan. Kris was in Palm Springs so she was unable to attend. Khloe wanted Kourtney to feel celebrated and loved so she was determined to organize the caravan and surprise her sister for her birthday (six feet apart).
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Later, Khloe FaceTimed with her best friend, Malika. Khloe embraced her new normal of not being able to visit with her friends in person, but rather via phone or Zoom. Malika said that her and her son’s father had the co-parenting thing down. Khloe reminded her that her son was only one month old. Malika said she was trying to be positive. Malika asked about Tristan and Khloe said things were great. He had been super helpful when she was isolated and she could tell that his energy was different. He was constantly letting her know that the door (for a relationship) was still open.
Malika was convinced that Tristan was still in love with Khloe. Khloe agreed, but she felt pressure from her family and Tristan. It had been over a year since they broke up and she could tell he was getting anxious, but she just didn’t have an answer about their relationship for him. Malika said that Khloe was scared and not being open because of their past.
Khloe admitted she was definitely guarded, but she had a reason to be: every relationship she got into was messed up. Malika went on to say that no one wants to get back with a guy that broke your heart in front of millions of people, but the Khloe she knew didn’t give a f–k what other people think. Malika was certain that Tristan loved Khloe and deep down Khloe still loved Tristan. Khloe said she doesn’t know if she could get back with him romantically. Malika pushed her to take baby steps and open up a little bit. She wanted her to have a conversation with him about their current relationship and the past.
NW: Should the Malikas be giving relationship advice? We just ran an episode where the father of her child refused to put a crib together. I pay them to keep my schedule and bring me lunch. I don’t need them trying to play Dr. Phil.
Later, everyone met at Khloe’s house for Kourtney’s birthday caravan surprise. Even Tristan was there. Prior to leaving for Kourtney’s house, Khloe called Kourtney’s daughter, Penelope, to ask for help with getting Kourtney outside to see the surprise. Dozens of balloon covered cars rolled down the street honking with their passengers yelling in honor of Kourtney’s birthday. However, Kourtney was still not outside and Khloe was getting impatient. Kourtney eventually came out to the car parade in her honor. Kourtney said she was so moved that she almost cried. For her it was way more special than a regular birthday.
NW: Mommy said Kourtney’s quarantine party was one of the highlights of this year. I think that speaks volumes about how bad 2020 has been.
Malika reached out to Tristan after talking to Khloe because he’s her friend too. Malika believed that he was a good person with a good heart, he just made some horrible mistakes. Malika wanted to give him some sound advice about mending the fence with Khloe. Tristan said he and Khloe were in a good space, but he lost his partner in crime. It hit him hard. Tristan acknowledged that he was being immature and didn’t value what he had. In the past, he had put a lot of weight on opinions that didn’t matter. He realized that it’s okay to be deeply in love. Malika said obviously there was something he needed to learn about himself and he’s gotten that. Malika said it was going to be a long, hard, tough journey but if Tristan believed their relationship was worth fighting for then that’s what he should do. She believed all was not lost. The more Tristan showed the other side to him, the more Khloe would open up.
NW: I also reached out to Tristan. I wanted him to know that regardless of what’s going on with him and my aunt, I’ll probably never talk to him nor will I call him “uncle”. It’s important for me to set the expectations early.
Tristan also mentioned that he promised Kris he would protect Khloe and he let her down. He felt bad about that. Malika advised him to let Kris know that he wasn’t going anywhere and tell her where he was coming from. Kris had the biggest heart and was the most forgiving person, but also she could read through BS. Tristan said he wanted his baby back. He wanted his queen back. Malika said he needed to work.
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In Malibu, Scott found out that he didn’t have as much privacy as he thought he did. Everyday he wakes up and the paparazzi are on the beach. They are in the front and in the back of the house. He was frustrated.
At Kourtney’s house, Kourtney was hard at work on her lifestyle website, POOSH. It was important for her to keep everyone employed and create new content. With the coronavirus, it was important for her to create content around health and wellness. She explored stories about vaginal health.
NW: I refused to believe that these people are being paid to write about avocado pudding and ab workouts.
Scott called Kourtney to vent about being in quarantine. He couldn’t handle not having structure or not working and he couldn’t have any privacy or any real time to himself. Having nothing to do had him feeling anxious and depressed. He needed to remove himself before he did something bad. He said he went to therapy weekly, but he never feels happy. He also didn’t think he grieved the death of his parents correctly and he just wanted to be the best person he could be for his family. He wanted to go to a facility to deal with his past trauma for at least a month. Kourtney said she was fine with that and she was fine with the kids. Kourtney was caught off guard because, for the first time, Scott was going to get treatment on his own and it wasn’t for drugs or alcohol. It felt different. She supported him because she wanted him to be the best he could for the kids, her and himself. She was proud of him.
Tristan met with Kris at her home. Kris asked how he and Khloe were doing in quarantine. Tristan said they were good, but he is second guessing himself. He wondered if he would get back to that place with Khloe or was Khloe into the person he was becoming. He acknowledged that when he hurt Khloe he hurt Kris. He said, “So when I hurt her with all the actions I did, it really affected me a lot because of how much I let you down and our relationship, because you viewed me as a son.” Kris corrected him and said that he actually hurt the whole family. Kris said that everyone wanted them to be happy as a family. Tristan said that he was starting from scratch and he was working his way back up. His new friendship with Khloe was helping. Kris felt good about Tristan as a person because of all the healing that had taken place. Kris said that the family had beaten Tristan up, but he’s proven overtime that he loves Khloe and was sorry. Tristan just wanted Khloe and True to be happy because that’s his family.
NW: Please. Kris has seen it all. She’s been through Scott, Lamar, Blac Chyna, and a host of other NBA players and rappers. Tristan is light work.
Later, Kim called her sister Kourtney after she saw online a leaked photo of Scott in rehab. Kourtney said that Scott had never felt more betrayed in his life. He was leaving the facility immediately. He was really upset because he was actually going to work on himself. Kourtney said whoever leaked the information should be ashamed of themselves and she thought Scott should sue the facility.
Back at Khloe’s house, Khloe and Tristan had a conversation about their relationship. She started by saying quarantine had been great for them and for almost a year he had been a different person. It had almost frustrated her because she wanted to know why he couldn’t be the man of her dreams when they were together. She was afraid that he was just acting to get what he wanted and then he would turn back to the old Tristan. Tristan said that he had grown to the point where he knows what he wants in his life and wanted Khloe in his life. Khloe said she loved Tristan but at that moment she wasn’t in love with him. She was actively trying to let her guard down and move forward. She appreciated the new Tristan. They both were surprised they hadn’t tried to kill each other in quarantine yet, but Khloe admitted she thought about poisoning his food.
The family video chatted with Scott and discussed his photo being leaked from rehab. Scott said he quarantined for about 4 to 5 days and was about to stop therapy, but then Kourtney texted him all the articles of his picture in rehab. It was clear that someone leaked him being there to the press and he felt like it was a huge betrayal. Kim said that he went to the facility for trauma, yet it caused more trauma. Scott said he didn’t feel safe and he couldn’t trust anyone there so left. He was hurt that the articles said he was in rehab for cocaine and alcohol. Scott usually doesn’t care, but he has kids and didn’t want them to see that. Kim asked if he was going to another facility, but Scott said he was over it. He didn’t want to go to another facility to have the same thing potentially happen again.
They changed the subject to Scott’s birthday. Kris said they should see if Nobu was open. Rob said she was craving their shrimp. Scott suggested they order Nobu and eat at the house.
Khloe and Tristan went to Kris’ house in Palm Springs and hung out with Kris and Corey. Khloe made everyone breakfast. Khloe was glad she had her talk with Tristan because she didn’t want to put his life on pause. Her and Tristan were in a good place. They were going to be a family even if they weren’t together. Just like her mom was to her dad. That’s just how they are and if people didn’t get it that they didn’t have to.
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The family all showed up to Scott’s house to celebrate his birthday. They had all been quarantining so it was safe for them to see each other. They were all happy to see each other because they haven’t hung out with each other in so long.
Kim asked Scott and Kourtney about the photo they texted to the family group chat with the caption “We’re going for baby number 4!”. Kim wanted to know if that was serious or not. Kourt gave a mischievous smile and pretended to be pregnant by making her stomach poke out. Kim said that parents of four are the most enlightened people. Scott said, “Okay” and Kris said, “Well let’s get it on!”.
Scott said he felt better seeing everyone given how bad everything was in quarantine and he couldn’t have had a better birthday.
Kris said getting together in the same house at the same time was a blessing and something they always took for granted. She was proud of her family and thought they did a good job of taking care of one another.
NW: That’s a wrap for season 19! Next season will be our last. It’s crazy when you think about it. Thank you to the fans who are still watching. Your loyalty is amazing and sad because these episodes are pretty terrible.
See you in season 20 where we ask for the millionth time, will auntie Kourt and Scott get back together? Is auntie Khloe hooking up with Tristan? Does Kris breast feed Corey? I can’t wait!
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