My friend, 17, is dating a 27-year-old teacher – I’m really concerned but her parents say it’s fine
- The anonymous friend asked for advice on the Graham Norton Radio Show
- Concerned student explained how her teen friend is dating a man 10 years older
- Listeners were divided – with some urging her to report him to his employer
- Read More: The moment I knew it was over: Women reveal how they knew a relationship was doomed
A concerned student has revealed how her 17-year-old friend has started dating a man 10 years her senior at the school where she works.
Over the weekend, the anonymous friend, believed to be from the UK, wrote into the Graham Norton Radio Show to ask the host and agony aunt Maria McErlane for help.
They explained: ‘I’m a 17-year-old girl and I have a friend of the same age who works as an after-school cleaner at a local primary school.
‘She goes to Sixth Form and is still 17. She’s recently started to date a teacher at that primary school where she works who is 27 years old.’
The worried student explained how her 17-year-old friend has just started dating a teacher 10 years her senior at the school where she works
The worried friend then went on to explain how the teenager’s parents are ‘fine’ with the relationship.
However, the anonymous letter-writer and her wider group feel as though it’s a ‘complete abuse of his power’.
She continued: ‘I think this is completely inappropriate as my friend is still a minor. Moreover, the teacher hasn’t even been working at the school a year yet.’
Desperate for some advice, they ended the letter by saying: ‘As a concerned friend, what should I do?’
Graham Norton and Maria McErlane (pictured in 2015) tried to advise the anonymous listener on whether she should report the teacher or let the relationship run its course
Admitting that it wasn’t a clear-cut issue, agony aunt Maria said: ‘This is a difficult one Graham because yes, it’s morally and ethically dodgy.
‘She is [legally able to consent] at 17 but she is also considered a minor. I think the area that’s problematic is with him.
What is Clare’s Law? How you can find out your partner’s domestic violence history, thanks to father’s campaign
Clare Wood, 36, was strangled by an ex
Clare’s Law was created in 2014 following a campaign by Michael Brown, whose daughter was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
The initiative, officially called the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, was designed to provide people with information that may protect them from a potentially abusive situation.
The scheme allows the police to disclose information about a partner’s previous history of domestic violence or violent acts.
Clare Wood, 36, was strangled and set on fire by her ex-boyfriend George Appleton at her home in Salford, Greater Manchester, in February 2009.
The mother-of-one had met Appleton on Facebook, unaware of his horrific history of violence against women, including repeated harassment, threats and the kidnapping at knifepoint of one of his ex-girlfriends.
‘Out of all the people he could date, he’s chosen somebody who is still at school – not at his school admittedly.’
If the student and her friends wanted to put a stop to the relationship, Maria said that approaching his school would be one course of action.
However, Graham suggested that the teenager’s parents might be allowing the relationship to happen in the hope that it’ll fizzle out quickly.
He added: ‘They know that if they try to forbid this or fight against it, they’ll turn into star-crossed lovers and it’ll go on for much longer than it should.
‘This teacher is a wrong ‘un, I would say. As it’s very murky for a teacher to be going out with a 17-year-old.’
But as her legal guardians are aware of their relationship, Graham added: ‘I don’t think there’s anything you can do to fix it other than let it run its course.’
After posing the problem to his listeners, Graham said the dilemma became something of a ‘hornet’s nest’ for people.
One listener replied: ‘Your friend can have access to Clare’s Law, which is a check on possible abusers. But it’s up to her.
‘Her parents appear to be okay with this but they may be playing the long game here.’
Urging her to take action, a teacher replied: ‘I can very clearly that this 27-yea-old man dating a Sixth Former is plain wrong.
‘All of his safeguarding training will have made that clear – even if common sense does not.
‘He may be working with other 17-year-olds – is he seeing them as potential partners too.
‘Even when she turns 18 at her own school, safeguarding still applies and her employer has a safeguarding duty to her while she’s working there. He would know this too.
‘Not sure what your listener would do, but if it were me as a fellow teacher, I would feel obliged to let his school know discreetly… for my own conscience.’
Meanwhile, a third said: ‘You have to let it run its course. If you try to intervene, it could make a strain on the friendship and you could potentially lose a friend. The more you’re told not to do something, the more you want to do it…’
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