DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner is so traumatised by a past miscarriage that she wants to abort our baby.

I dearly want to have a family with her and don’t know what to say to change her mind.

I’m 29 and my partner is 30.

We have a wonderful relationship and when she discovered she had fallen accidentally pregnant, I was over the moon. But five years ago, she and her ex lost a baby late into her pregnancy.

She had to go through a stillbirth and this almost destroyed her.

She says she now can’t face risking going through that again and so she’d rather have a termination before she becomes attached to the baby.

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I’m heartbroken.

I’ve told her that I’ll support her whatever she decides, but I want to be a father to this baby.

What can I do about this?

DEIDRE SAYS:  Finding out she is pregnant has brought back horrible memories for your partner.

Losing her baby must have been traumatic and it’s natural that she’s scared and doesn’t want to go through that experience again.

It sounds like she hasn’t dealt with it.

Getting expert help really can help her to move on.

Suggest she contact sands.org.uk (0808 164 3332), who help women after stillbirth.

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