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How do I get my girl to admit she’s lying to me when every fibre of my being is telling me she’s a cheat?

I’m not stupid. I can sense a change in our relationship.

Suddenly she’s dressing up and wearing lashings of make-up. Her job doesn’t require her to be in the office every day but she’s doing Monday to Friday – and coming home at midnight.

At weekends I ask her where she’s going, and she replies: “Out with my mates.” Her friends have never been ones for nightclubs and drunken nights on the town.

She’s also become sex mad. She never used to be bothered about intimacy, but now she pins me to the mattress and demands I ravish her. She says and does the most outrageous things and I’m expected to play along.

I’ve confided in my mate, and he says the same thing happened when his ex-wife was having an affair.

I hate the idea of being used – especially if she’s just come straight from another man’s bed.

The guy I suspect she’s sleeping with is her smarmy boss. He’s newly separated from his wife and renting a swanky apartment in town. I think my girl is spending her days flirting with him and her nights drinking his booze – and making him scream…

She says I’m paranoid and need professional help but my instincts are yelling “liar”.

She insists she isn’t a cheat, and it wouldn’t cross her mind to lie or sleep around – but I don’t recognise her anymore.

It’s depressing watching our relationship go down the drain when, despite everything, I love her and believe that we could still have a future together. Help!

JANE SAYS: It’s vital that your catch your partner when she’s sober and approach-able and tell her that you can’t go on like this. Can’t she see how selfish and hurtful she’s being? Doesn’t she care about your feelings?

Tell her that you’re not stupid but you are upset that your relationship is in freefall.

If nothing else, it’s not fair that you’re stuck at home worrying about her health and safety while she’s out painting the town red.

Can you both agree where you’re going wrong and agree to fix the problems?

She needs to understand that all relationships go through highs and lows but you’re willing to fight for this one. It’s vital be honest with each other.

Ultimately, however, if you are absolutely convinced that this relationship is dying, and every fibre of your being is telling you she is slipping away from you, then maybe you need to start accepting you don’t have a future.

You need to consider your self-respect, your sexual health and all the time and energy she’s stealing from you. You have done nothing to deserve this level of cruelty and disrespect – and you must not forget that.

• Cheating

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