DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has just received the news that he has a terminal illness and he has been given between two and four years to live.

He has accepted that he is going to die but I am not coping.

I am 45 and he is 49. We have two daughters aged 15 and 13.

We haven’t told them yet, but they know something is up.

They have caught me crying a couple of times.

My husband’s condition will deteriorate, and he will need care.

I don’t know how I am going to cope with looking after him, nor when he dies.

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There is nothing to look forward to, just a funeral to arrange.

I feel guilty for being so selfish when he is the one who is so ill.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You have nothing to feel guilty about.

You are a loving partner, and I am sure you will be doing everything possible to make the time he has left meaningful.

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You are experiencing what is called anticipatory grief, a type of grief you feel when you know you will lose someone, even though they are still alive.

There is more information about this on the Cruse Bereavement Care website (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677). Please contact them for support.

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