DEAR DEIDRE: I feel ill at the thought of my son’s wedding going ahead but the invitations have gone out already.

My son and his partner decided to get married on Christmas Eve this year. They are on a limited budget as my son is a gardener and my future daughter-in-law works in a nursery.

They have been careful about who to invite. It was agreed that they would invite close family and friends that they regularly see.

My more distant family wished them well and are totally understanding about the lack of invitation.

But my husband’s parents and my nephew have taken a different stance.

My husband’s parents brought up my nephew/their grandson – who was always a very spoilt boy and was put on a pedestal by my in-laws.

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Consequently now, at 25, my nephew is rude and arrogant. The relationship between him and my son petered out years ago.

Now my in-laws are demanding that our nephew is invited to the wedding.

The guy himself has sent my son some nasty texts, insisting he explain himself.

I’m his mum and I’m 65. My son is 29 and he should be looking forward to his big day not dealing with this.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Sometimes the most happy of occasions bring out the worst in people.
Your son should stick to his guns and ignore his cousin’s demands. He doesn’t need to justify who is and isn’t invited to his wedding.

Your in-laws’ treatment of their grandson has made him feel privileged but they are forgetting it is your son and his future wife’s day – not theirs.

If things don’t settle down, ask your husband to speak to his parents and remind them there are financial constraints and the day doesn’t belong to them.

My support pack Wedding Day Worries is filled with advice to help these difficult situations when families get involved.

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