DEAR JANE: My new neighbor won’t stop flirting with my husband – and she even sunbathes NAKED to get his attention
- In her latest agony aunt column, best-selling author Jane Green offers some advice to a wife who has reached breaking point over her neighbor’s behavior
- She also shares her thoughts with a reader whose boyfriend is suffering from a gruesome toe infection, but refuses to seek medical treatment
- Do you have a question for Jane? Email [email protected] or ask it below
- READ MORE: My boyfriend banned me from going to my best friend’s wedding
Dear Jane,
A few weeks ago, my husband and I got a new neighbor – a single mom, who seemed super friendly and cool. She brought over her son to say hello, and I was so happy – I really thought we could be friends.
I asked her to come by the next day for a drink, and we all swapped numbers in case she needed anything.
But when she came over, it got weird, very quickly. She wasn’t interested in me at all, and just kept staring at my husband. She barely said a single word to me, and spent the entire time talking to him, giggling and twirling her hair in a really flirty way. My husband is a pretty easy-going guy, but even he thought it was awkward.
Afterwards, my husband and I agreed she should just stick to her side of the fence, and we wouldn’t have her over again. But since then, she’s been relentless. Texting my husband all the time, asking him to go over and help with problems with her lawn mower, her washing machine, her air conditioning. He went twice, and then told her he was really busy with work and probably couldn’t help out anymore.
Dear Jane, my new neighbor is blatantly flirting with my husband – and has even taken to sunbathing naked to get his attention and I’m furious
So yesterday, she started sunbathing naked in her backyard, which our bedroom window looks out on, and she knows she is in full view of our window. I’m so angry about it – and embarrassed for her and her poor son, who I hope wasn’t there while she was sunbathing.
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning issues in her Dear Jane agony aunt column
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want bad blood, but I feel like I have to say something. My husband’s worried it’s going to make everything worse and doesn’t want me to mention it, but I don’t think that’s the right thing to do. This time I think I should be putting my foot down.
How can I make her back off without causing even more drama?
From,
Nightmare Next Door
Dear Nightmare Next Door,
What a disappointment, to have a potential new friend turn into a bit of a nightmare.
You don’t say whether she has continued to text your husband, but I’m assuming that him saying he can’t help out anymore has done the trick.
As for sunbathing naked in her own backyard, I’m not sure what you can do about this, as it’s not illegal, and it’s her private property.
I would buy some sheer curtains for the window, so you don’t have to look at her, which serves the double purpose of showing her that your husband isn’t interested in looking at her either.
At this point, it doesn’t seem that you need to say anything, but should she start up with your husband again, the two of you can simply say that you are both too busy to help her and she should try Task Rabbit for anything that needs to be fixed around the house.
I doubt very much this behavior will continue once you have set a firm boundary and stuck to it.
When she realizes she isn’t getting a response from your husband, my guess is she will look elsewhere. Good luck.
Dear Jane,
I’ve been with my boyfriend now for a few years and for the whole time I’ve known him he’s had this toe nail that is totally disgusting – it literally looks like it’s rotting.
He thinks it’s funny that I’m so grossed out, and says that the doctor told him there’s nothing he can do. But in the past few months it’s grown even more gross – and now it’s also painful for him.
He’s saying it doesn’t hurt at all, but I can see him wincing every time he puts his shoes on, and he can barely walk more than 10 minutes without being in pain and having to sit down.
Dear Jane’s Sunday Service
Boundaries, baby.
The key to peace in life is having the ability to set boundaries, to tell people what is and what is not acceptable, in a clear, calm way.
Whether it’s naked sunbathing or revolting toenails, taking a deep breath and being honest is the way to stop resentments building up and relationship falling apart.
Even if it wasn’t causing him pain I need him to do something because it’s so disgusting, I don’t want to see his feet anymore, and I definitely don’t want them touching me in bed.
I’ve urged him to go to the doctor and have it looked at, but he says there’s no point because he knows there’s nothing they can do.
I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I’m starting to think maybe he’s scared, and I don’t know how I can force him into a doctor’s visit without making him feel embarrassed?
From,
Something’s Afoot
Dear Something’s Afoot,
Feet aren’t exactly beautiful at the best of times, and rotting toenails are – forgive me – unimaginably revolting.
The fact that this is also causing pain means he needs to see a doctor immediately.
It doesn’t ring true to me that a doctor has said there is nothing to be done, not least because toenail fungal infections can spread, and if bacteria gets in, antibiotics are needed.
He could also lose the toenail, which frankly, may be a blessing given what it looks like, but whatever the case, this needs to be treated.
And it can be treated, which means he may be lying to you about seeing the doctor, and may have some fear. However you have to do it – making an appointment for yourself, bringing him along and insisting the doctor or podiatrist look at his foot, or talking him into going himself because of all the potential health concerns, he needs to see a doctor sooner rather than later.
And then I would buy him lots and lots of socks.
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