My partner shouted at my son and now isn't coming to his wedding

DEAR DEIDRE: FOLLOWING a row between them, my partner says he won’t come to my elder son’s wedding.

There had been a slight disagreement between me and my son, who was shouting at me on the phone.

My partner walked in and heard what was being said.

He grabbed the phone and told my son to show me some respect.

They swore at each other and made very violent threats.

I am 51 and my partner is 53. We’ve been together for six years.

My sons are 25 and 23.

My partner doesn’t have children and I brought up my boys alone.

My elder son is getting married at Christmas.

I told my partner I was fine with him not going, and I’d go to the wedding on my own.

What really bothers me is that he’s said some horrible things about my boys.

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I don’t like it. I find it cruel.

My partner should be setting a good example.

DEIDRE'S STORIES

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DEAR DEIDRE

CHANGE of pace

MIND THE GAP

DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner was trying to protect you but has made a bad situation worse.

Not having children has made his approach heavy-handed and this won’t endear him to your son.

Handle these conflicts yourself in future.

Remind your partner that for these few hours your feelings matter the most and he should bury the hatchet and put on a smile.

Your partner and son can steer clear of one another.

My support pack Wedding Worries will help you get your message across.