My 'selfish' husband showers for an hour while our toddlers cry

My husband spends an hour in the shower after work while I look after our screaming toddlers

  • The anonymous woman takes care of their toddlers daily – for ’13 hours straight’ 
  • READ MORE: I won’t share a bed with my wife – she refuses to shower after work 

A woman has been left furious after revealing her husband takes 50 minute showers while she’s left to care for their children.

The anonymous woman, believed to be from the UK, took to Reddit to reveal she thinks it is unfair for her to be left with children ‘hanging’ from her legs whilst her husband enjoys nearly an hour bathing. 

She explained that she can’t start dinner and care for the two screaming and crying toddler solo toddlers at the same time.

The woman tried to compromise with her husband and asked him if he takes showers after the toddlers go to bed,  but now he refuses.

Reddit users have been left divided by the woman’s plight with some agreeing with the mother but others have sided with the husband. 

The disgruntled mother of two toddlers, aged one and three, is annoyed that her husband spends 25 minutes in the shower and 25 on the toilet (stock image)

The mother of two toddlers – aged one and three – explained her husband works long days in a ‘pretty physical’ construction job.

While she only works one or two days a week, she stated their days both begin at 5am regardless, as she spends most of her time caring for the youngsters.

She argued that her days often begin an hour earlier than his in the morning. 

‘He wants to go to the bathroom and take a shower the second he gets in the driveway,’ wrote the mother-of-two.

‘This would be one thing if he was quick, but he takes at least 25 minutes on the toilet and 25 minute showers, and I cannot start dinner with the kids hanging off my legs.’

She requested he wait until the two toddlers go to bed before having his bathroom time, noting that she only had a 2-hour window make the family dinner, clean and prepare the children for bed.

At first the father was seemingly happy to comply, but now he feels its unfair for him to be expected to sit in his sweaty and dirty clothes for two hours.

Although, the mother-of-two acknowledged this would be ‘uncomfortable’, she disputed she has experienced a difficult time, spending 13 hours with two toddlers in the midst of their ‘tantrum phase’.

Whilst the wife understands her husband works ‘really hard’ and long days as a construction worker, she argues that she spends 13 hours straight with two toddlers in their ‘tantrum phase’

He has branded her as selfish for expecting him to wait in dirty clothes for two hours whilst she organises their dinner and children

He later labelled his wife as ‘selfish’ when she repeatedly asked he wait before running off to the bathroom.

She continued: ‘I said I felt he was being selfish by running to the bathroom for almost an hour every time he gets home when he I have stuff to get done, too.’

After Reddit users pointed out the father needed decompression time after a long day at work, the mother said their dispute wasn’t about that.

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She claimed their argument centred around getting their toddlers to bed by 8pm, a task she alleged is impossible to do – alongside dinner and bathing them – if the father spends close to an hour showering.

The mother-of-two then quipped she wasn’t asking him to sit in dirty clothes for two hours, but only thirty minutes while she organises the toddlers, leaving him the rest of the evening to shower, decompress and play games.

Opinions are split among those in the forum, with some arguing she should allow her husband to rest. 

One person said: ‘Shower time is excessive, but i can’t believe you would want someone that just came home from construction not showering and changing clothes as soon as he walks in the house, much less taking care of children.’

Another chimed in: ‘I’d say he’s earned 50 minutes to himself to take a s**t and a shower.’ 

‘My boyfriend works the same hours in construction and I can tell you, it’s physically and mentally tough for them,’ stated a user. 

‘Let him decompress and have his shower when he gets home.’

Others came to the mothers defence, stating the man should help take care of his own brood, quipping: ‘You mean being the parent of the children he helped create? Yeah, that’s a reasonable expectation’

While one added: ‘Wrangling the kids all day, from 5am – 8pm, especially during the tantrum stage sounds extremely mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting – not to mention isolating. 

‘She needs to decompress at least as much as him.’

A user shared their advice on how the mother-of-two could make her evenings easier, advising: ‘Honestly. Just downgrade your dinner expectations. You may be working too hard. 

‘Pasta and frozen meatballs takes five minutes. You may be trying to hard. Dial it back. Order a pizza.’

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