Written by Lauren Geall

As Stylist’s digital writer, Lauren Geall writes on topics including mental health, wellbeing and women’s issues. She’s also a big fan of houseplants and likes to dabble in film and TV from time-to-time. You can find her on Twitter at @laurenjanegeall.

If you’re finding it hard to stay on top of your dating life, then guardrailing could be the trend you’re looking for. Here’s everything you need to know about the new concept.

Name: Guardrailing

Meaning: Part of a larger trend that has seen many of us making a conscious effort to reclaim our time and energy after the busyness of post-pandemic life, guardrailing is all about taking control of your dating life. Whether you’re setting clear boundaries with a potential partner, being upfront about what you want or being conscious about overcommitting to plans, its purpose is to make dating ‘doable’ for you, without the stress.

Origin: This term was coined by the experts over at Bumble, who predict guardrailing is going to be a big dating trend as we head into 2023, as people are feeling increasingly overwhelmed by life as the year comes to a close. According to research by the dating app, more than 52% of singles say they’ve established more boundaries over the last year – and that number is only expected to rise.   

Intriguing. Definitely – especially as that feeling of overwhelm is all too relatable. As Naomi Walkland, Bumble’s vice president for Europe, explains: “2022 was a formative year with the return of travel, the drastic increase in our social lives and commitments, and a number of turbulent global events. However, for some people this post-pandemic shift left them feeling out of control and exhausted. In response to this, we’ve seen that people on Bumble are now prioritising identifying and clearly articulating their boundaries.”

But how exactly do you put guardrailing into practice? I’m so glad you asked. As you’ve probably already gathered, guardrailing isn’t just one behaviour – as long as you’re taking steps to protect yourself and feel more in control of your dating life, then you’re guardrailing. For example, you might refuse to commit to more than one date a week in order to give yourself time to relax, or only check your dating app at certain times of the day or week to make the whole experience more purposeful. It’s totally up to you.

I see. But doesn’t that make the whole experience feel a bit… clinical? Setting boundaries isn’t about taking the fun out of dating – it’s just about protecting yourself so you can actually enjoy yourself when you do meet new people. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it has the potential to make dating even more fun – but that’s just me.

Sure, but you don’t want to take it too far.I see what you mean. If, like me, you tend to have a pretty type A personality, it’s important to leave space for some spontaneity among your rules. For example, it’s OK to go on three spontaneous dates in a week if you really want to – guardrailing is just there to help you make those decisions more consciously.

Kind of like a… guard rail? I get why it’s called that now! The fact it’s taken you that long to catch on isn’t even that shocking to me any more.

You know what, I think it’s time we set some boundaries in our relationship. Gladly – but I don’t think there are enough guard rails in the world to protect me from your chaos.  

Image: Getty

Source: Read Full Article