Couple say they ‘refuse to gaslight’ their daughter, nine, into believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy – saying kids face ‘psychological trauma’ when they find out the truth

• Mathew Boudreaux, 46, and husband Aurelian, 44, have already been honest with their nine-year-old about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny  
• The couple told their daughter Helena truth when she ‘was two or three’ 
• Mathew said he couldn’t bring himself to ‘traumatize’ her later by lying 
• The craftsman who lives in Washington State said telling kids Santa Claus is real is akin to ‘global gaslighting’ and he thinks more parents should be honest

A couple have revealed how they’ve been honest with their nine-year-old daughter about the existence of Santa Claus and the Easter bunny since she was a toddler – and think parents should stop ‘gaslighting’ their children with the seasonal tales.

Craftsman Mathew Boudreaux, 46, and his music teacher husband, Aurelian, 44, from Washington State, insist they’re not ‘taking away any magic’ and say ‘honesty is the best policy’ when it comes to parenting their daughter Helena, nine.

The parents say they ‘refused to lie’ to her and have been honest since she was ‘two or three’ and they still partake in festive traditions – saying they’re ‘not taking away any magic’ but don’t want to lie to their daughter. 

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Craftsman Mathew Boudreaux, 46, (right) and his music teacher husband, Aurelian, 44, (left) refuse to subject their daughter to ‘psychological trauma’ by lying to her about Father Christmas. Although she enjoys sitting on Santa’s lap, she knows he isn’t real

Helena, nine, (pictured) from Washington state, USA, was told by her two fathers when she was two or three that typical childhood joys such as Santa and the Easter Bunny were not real

Matthew and Aurelian say they’ve asked their daughter if she wants to play ‘make-believe’ and pretend Santa Claus is real, even though they have told her he doesn’t exist.

The couple said the family ‘don’t want to participate in global gaslighting’ that makes children question their own reality and decided early on that they ‘would never deceive’ their little girl. 

Matthew thinks lying to children about Santa amounts to ‘psychological trauma’.

The dads hope to raise their daughter ‘to be humble and appreciative’ so don’t spoil her rotten on Christmas day – instead giving her a handful of presents and celebrate being together as a family.

When it comes to the Tooth Fairy, Mathew still puts $1 under Helena’s pillow but his daughter has known since she was a tot that he’s responsible for it appearing there.

Mathew said: ‘Parents don’t need to tell any of their kids Santa or the tooth fairy is real. Why would I participate in this large scale global gaslighting?’

‘Before adopting our child we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have.

‘We decided we would never deceive her. Parents don’t need to tell any of their kids this is real.

‘It has normalised group lying and deception, it doesn’t need to be a part of society.’

She still celebrates Christmas by opening Christmas but her fathers were scared to ‘gaslight’ their daughter by partaking in the global tradition

Mathew said:’There is a morality in lying and not lying. We live in a world where nobody can tell the difference between real and fake’

The dad-of-one said their daughter didn’t know whether Santa was real or not when she was little.

But when she reached the age of three, their daughter started asking questions about Father Christmas.

They explained he wasn’t real and the stories behind the traditions, but they could carry on ‘pretending’ if she wanted to.

Mathew added: ‘It wasn’t a sit down conversation, she started to ask questions and have an awareness of him.

‘She asked who he was and it’s at this point most parents say he’s real. We decided not to.

The family still decorates the family home to celebrate the Christian festival. Presents also play a part in the day but Helena has known since she was a young child that Father Christmas did not deliver them on his sleigh

The couple say they still partake in the magic and their house is decorated with homemade decorations and they ‘make cookies, exchange presents, get up super early and spend quality time together as a family.’

‘There is a morality in lying and not lying. We live in a world where nobody can tell the difference between real and fake.  

‘Honesty is the most important component of parenting and the truth is the way you should go.’

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