Most of us have experienced a truly terrible year.
Even the late Queen Elizabeth II had one – famously dubbing 1992 as her ‘annus horribilis.’
Maybe 2022 has been your worst one yet, or perhaps it was the turbulent 2020 – or it could have been another one entirely.
When it’s happening, a bad year can feel like a never-ending list of terrible events – whether that’s work issues, bereavements, injuries, relationship breakdowns or anything else.
We’ve asked people to share what happened to them during the ‘worst year of their lives’ but, more importantly, the life lessons they’ve learned from them.
Here’s what they had to say…
Mok
Mok, who runs a successful management consultancy, says 2010 was an awful year for him.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘My whole life fell apart in the last recession – I lost my job and couldn’t get another job. I lost my house – I couldn’t afford the mortgage – so I had to sell my fabulous mews house.
‘My brother died of cancer and left three girls under three. My father died of shock the day after the funeral and my mother lost her mental capacities and only lasted 14 months.
‘In the space of about 18 months I had lost everything.’
But Mok says that losing everything gives you ‘the opportunity to work out what you really want to be.’
He says: ‘I had spent my life travelling around the world, living in New York, Sydney and London. I tapped back into the energy I had on our family farm in Ireland and realised that that was the place I was most happy. I bought a tiny cottage in Gloucestershire and met my husband to be in the village pub.’
He also stresses the importance of compartmentalising when lots of awful things happen.
‘Manage your energy and resilience – focus on one thing at a time and then put it back in the box,’ he explains.
Anthony
Anthony says last year was the worst of his life, kicking off when he slipped on ice in February 2021 and broke his left arm – which resulted in a metal plate in his arm, time off work as a freelance writer, and gruelling physio.
As well as this accident, his daughter had an operation which left her bedridden for six weeks.
On top of this, Anthony’s dad died suddenly and unexpectedly, and his solicitors lost his will in the months that followed.
In terms of what he took away from this, Anthony says: ‘I’m more stoical about plans being disrupted, because boy does sh*t happen. I try to think about things I want to do, and then make sure I actually do them, rather than putting them off. That “one day sometimes soon” could easily never happen.
‘I’m better about saying “no” to things I don’t want to do, which makes more time for things I do want to do.
‘But 2022 has been better: I won an award, got an agent and got a book deal. I’m trying to remember to enjoy the good stuff as it happens.’
Laura
Laura says her worst year to date was 2010 – when she was in a terrible relationship, her commute increased to two hours each way (from Kent to London), her grandmother died and she was stressed from work.
‘It felt awful at the time but it has actually been the beginning of a huge transformation in my career,’ she says.
‘I realised being stressed at work wasn’t sustainable, so I moved into the charity sector and started to question what I wanted from my career.
‘I discovered coaching and now I run my own coaching business, helping people to find fulfillment in their careers.
‘I also decided I wanted to feel good at work so I’ve said yes to lots of different opportunities. My work now brings me joy rather than stress.
‘I love my career now and I don’t think I would have found this level of satisfaction had I not burnt out at work in 2010.’
Sarah
Sarah, from the US, says 2020 was – like for many others – a truly terrible year for her, but mainly down to an injury.
She explains: ‘A few days before the pandemic shut down the world, I checked into the hospital for a femoral osteotomy surgery (sawing my left femur in half and repositioning it with a metal rod to cure my knee pain).
‘I came home from the hospital just as my four-year-old’s pre-school had closed and the world grappled with the early stages of the pandemic. I was feeling great 12 weeks post-operation, and my doctor decided that I could start exercising.
‘As I walked on the treadmill, I heard a crack before my leg gave out from under me. The bone and the steel rod holding it together had snapped.’
Sarah explains that four more surgeries followed and she became one of the 10% of patients whose bones don’t heal after a break.
Facing another surgery and continued pain medication addiction, Sarah says she found an off-label drug that cured breaks in clinical trials and so she forked out to try it – a move that paid off when it healed her leg in 77 days.
In terms of the lessons she learned from this difficult year, Sarah explains: ‘I raised a well-adjusted boy (now seven), kicked a two-year oxycontin addiction, recouped $25,000 in medical and disability benefits, and managed to avoid Covid along the way.
‘I had some imposter syndrome and self-esteem issues before this saga, and after living through five surgeries during a pandemic while raising a child and fighting for medical coverage, it takes quite a bit to intimidate me now.
‘I know, as a mother and woman, where my personal and professional boundaries lie and exactly what I’m capable of.
‘It was an awful experience, but I’m better for it.’
Jack
Jack’s worse year involved a broken collarbone, being let go at work and a breakup in 2019.
He explains: ‘The big part for me was the descent from: “I’ve got a proper job in London, I’ve made it” to “oh no everything is going wrong.”
‘I remember the intense feeling that I’d failed, that despite my best efforts to improve both my career and my relationship, they still went south.’
But, in the end, it’s helped Jack see failure as a positive.
He adds: ‘It helped me learn an important lesson: that not everything is going to go well, but that it’s also not the end of the world either, because that failure has led to greater opportunities than I would have known otherwise. It helped me set boundaries and clarify what was important to me.
‘In summary: the biggest growth can come from failure.’
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