Written by Amy Beecham

Artist Lily O’Farell just said what we’ve all been thinking about the last decade of dating apps.

Feminist cartoonist Lily O’Farell, creator of the Instagram account @vulgadrawings is known for her relatable and tongue-in-cheek art that seems to sum up exactly what we’re thinking and feeling at all times. But her latest viral cartoon really sums up the minefield that is online dating in 2023.

Depicting the highs, lows and endless cringe of 10 years of dating apps, Farrell expertly pokes fun at the kind of users we’ve all encountered, from those who think quoting The Office is a personality trait to those who hate on astrology for seemingly no reason.

However, comparing her experience as an 18-year-old swiping right when Tinder first came out in 2012 to now, Farrell explains that the endless cycle of talking, meeting and ghosting is causing people to succumb to “dating app burnout” and deleting their accounts forever.

Pointing to the lack of community accountability, Farrell argues that the anonymity of dating in the modern world makes it easier for people to treat others badly, because they have no mutual connections with them that might intervene and stand up to them. 

“When you meet someone on an app and you have no mutuals, you can treat them terribly and no one will find out,” she writes. “Behaviours like this means people are starting to feel disposable.”

Farrell did also address the very real risks of dating online. “Racism is a big problem on dating apps, and only now is it starting to be addressed,” she continued in the caption. “A book came out in 2021 called The Dating Divide all about this, it found that apps benefit white people the most and favour black people the least, with other races falling in between.”

While paying tribute to the positive impact dating apps have had on queer, kink and polyamorous people in finding communities, she also pointed to studies that show that dating apps can be a tool for men to perpetuate violence against women.

Despite so many pitfalls, Farrell did recognise that it’s hard to ditch apps when there seems like no viable alternative. “We don’t live in an episode of Sex And The City where we can just approach someone, ask for a lighter and say something offensive,” she quipped.

If you do feel overwhelmed by your dating apps, she advised pressing pause and giving yourself space outside of the world of super-likes and swipes. “Remind yourself you’re not an ugly unloveable monster, it’s a big industry machine working away behind you,” she concluded.

You can see more of Lily O’Farrell’s work here.

Images: Getty

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