Trinidad & Tobagao Has Confirmed They Have No Record of Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Balls

Everybody, hands out of your pants. We have a topic of interest to discuss. The health minister of Trinidad & Tobago, Dr. Terrence Deyalsingh, has issued a statement saying that there is no reported case of swollen testicles in the country, nor has there been a case reported anywhere in the world. Why is this something worth reporting on? Because on Monday, Nicki Minaj went on a Twitter tirade about the Covid-19 vaccine and reasons that she is holding off on getting vaccinated. Let’s recap.

I suppose the best place to start is the first tweet, sent about ten minutes before Met Gala attendees were supposed to arrive. Minaj confirmed that she would not be in attendance, adding that if she were going to get the vaccine, it would not be for the Met Gala.

No need to get into my thoughts on that because there are bigger fish to fry. Much bigger fish. A mere fifteen minutes later, she launched another tweet, offering an anecdote about her cousin’s friend who lives in Trindad & Tobago. Allegedly, after receiving the vaccine, his testicles became swollen, leading to his impotence. His fiancée, in a particularly gruesome move, then left him.

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