Ellen DeGeneres definitely deserves the first impression rose!
To celebrate Halloween, the talk show host, 60, dressed as a contestant from The Bachelor — but instead of imitating a popular participant from a past season, she created one of her own. For the occasion, the comedian sported a long blond wig, a super low-cut gown — which showed off fake breasts! — and dangly earrings. Enter Kelllly D!
“Listen ladies, I didn’t come to make friends, and I didn’t come to make toast. I came for two things: to get a man and to drink tequila. And I’m out of tequila,” she kicked off the segment, described as “the most dramatic and most drunk episode of The Bachelor.”
After stumbling out of a black car, DeGeneres finally introduced herself.
“My name is Kelllly — with four ls ’cause there are six other Kellys on the show, so this season you can call me Kelllly D! But that’s not my initial, as in breast size,” she joked. “My dress is from Versace, and my boobs are from Mattel. I’m a dental assistant from New Jersey. People ask me what’s the difference between a dental hygienist and a dental assistant, and it’s simple. A dental hygienist wears a white coat and cleans the teeth, and a dental assistant puts out on the first date.”
Next, she let the audience know that she came to win.
“This show is my one shot to find love — unless I lose, and then I can try again on The Bachelorette, The Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise After Paradise,” she said.
Then, to the audience’s delight, she brought out her “future husband” — aka the Bachelor, aka Milo Ventimiglia.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” the This Is Us actor, 41, said.
“Nice to meet you, too. You look like that guy from that show. The sad, sad show that makes me cry. Dateline.” Kelllly responded, before telling him, “My name is Kelllly D, but you can call me any time you want! I’m a dental assistant. Would you like me to inspect your mouth with my tongue?”
Afterward, she gifted Ventimiglia a crockpot so he’d remember her. The audience cheered in response to the reference to the hit NBC show.
“Today’s show is brought to you by the word ‘legs.’ Maybe we can go upstairs and spread the word.’ ” Kelllly quipped.
In the middle of the show, another faux contestant took the stage, and Kelllly called on the real Nick Viall, the Bachelor from season 21, to distract her in a hot tub.
Tragically, Kelllly then got sent home and sobbed in the back of a limo while declaring that she promised herself she wasn’t going to cry.
“I didn’t even like him. I like artichokes. I’m scared of parakeets. When I was a little girl, I wanted a pony,” she wailed.
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Ventimiglia then gave his rose to actress Rebel Wilson.
Ellen has been killing the Halloween talk show game since last week, when she decided to scare some of her guests with a surprise appearance by Pennywise, the clown from the Stephen King horror story IT.
One such unlucky visitor was Sean “Diddy” Combs.
“Halloween‘s coming up. Is this a true story? I want to know,” DeGeneres asked Combs on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. “I heard you’re scared of clowns.”
“No,” Combs, 48, replied. “Impossible … because I’m a black man. I have so many other things to be fearful of — a clown is not going to scare me.”
“Really?” DeGeneres probed.
“Yes. I’m not afraid of clowns,” Combs said.
Just then, a terrifying clown jumped out of the box next to Combs and let out a yell.
As the clown ran off the stage and the audience roared, Combs jumped out of his seat, kicked his leg and did some fancy footwork.
“Yeah, I got you. Oh, you wanna play?” Combs asked DeGeneres as he paced around and then sat down in his chair. “You know, I woke up this morning, and I said, ‘I want my life to be full of surprises.’ Ellen, I thank you. Thank you.”
Combs gave DeGeneres a hug. “That was so gratifying,” DeGeneres said.
“You really affected my street cred with that, all right?” Combs joked.
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