[There are spoilers ahead for Too Hot to Handle. You’ve been warned!]
Of all the sexy singles on Too Hot to Handle, David Birtwistle might be the hottest. Okay, JK, that’s literally an impossible decision to make, but still. The show dropped today, and it’s the perfect amount of addicting for this weekend, which you’ll probably spend indoors. The London native charmed his way through the seasons and is probably about to become everyone’s favorite Instagram deep-dive. David chatted with Cosmopolitan about his time on the show, including giving us a really quick British slang lesson. Yes, he’s so attractive you’ll be hanging on his every word, but you’ll also wanna know what the hell he’s talking about.
My first and most immediate question is… what the hell is “bants?”
If you’ve got top bants, that is, you’re kind of funny, right? British people, we have a relatively dry sense of humor a lot of the time, like we’re not quite as overtly funny as American humor is. We’re kind of a bit dry, sarcastic, like rude, to be honest, and banter, to be honest, is often rude. Funny, but it comes from a place of mug. So if you’ve got good banter, it means you can you can give someone shit, but you like them, and you can take it as well. That’s the most important thing, that it’s a two way street. If you give out banter to someone, you make a joke at their expense, you have to be able to take that same joke.
So it’s like the ability to poke fun at someone and have them take it like a good sport?
Yeah, exactly. And it was really interesting because the Americans in the group didn’t get that initially. Like the British and American humor I think were different. But very quickly, everyone got on the same page and some of the Americans really started to get very good at British banter. And really started to take it seriously. It was so funny.
Harry and Francesca said they really struggled at times because it felt like everyone was against them. What was that like on your end?
Harry and Francesca definitely had some moments where they were just thinking about themselves. Those two seemed to have a really strong bond really early on, which effectively led them into temptation more than someone like, let’s say me and Nicole, who maybe weren’t under the same temptation. We tried to sit Harry down, like the lads would get together and talk to like him, “Mate, come on, you’ve got to think about other people.” You know, sometimes he was like, “Yeah, but put yourself in our position, how would you behave?”
It seemed like you all learned about vulnerability in romantic relationships, but the men in particular learned a lot about relating to other men. What do you think you learned more about?
I think the two are interlinked. I think if you are willing to show vulnerability in front of a man, then you’re going to be more willing to show vulnerability in front of your partner, and that’s going to grow a relationship between both. So I think the show definitely highlighted some of the things that I could do better as a person, and I definitely learned a lot from it. And I think that it showed me how men don’t have to constantly compete with each other. They don’t have to keep quiet. They don’t have to internalize stuff. Because actually, when you talk about things, when you are able to be open in front of your friends, then your relationship gets stronger.
Did the show change the way you date?
It’s definitely changed the way I date. That’s for sure. Hundred percent. Since the retreat, I’ve been a lot more purposeful with how I’ve been dating. I realize I do want a serious relationship. I want a wife at some point. I’m ready to commit to someone and so since the end of the retreat I’m like, okay, how am I actually gonna do that? And I need to start dating with purpose and actually like thinking about the girls that I date from a more long term perspective rather than just, “This is fun.”
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