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Let’s be candid, Paris has not been ok this year. In March President Emmanuel Macron raised the retirement age from 62 to 64 — sacre bleu! — and all hell broke loose. There were riots, unions on strike, and somehow flaming baguettes were involved (because of course). Eventually things calmed down enough that Macron deemed it safe for King Chaz and Consort Cam to reschedule their state visit, which happened a couple weeks ago. But now another scourge is plaguing the city: bed bugs. Not wanting to cause widespread panic, the Deputy Mayor’s calm, measured public statement was: “No one is safe.” The vermin of Paris are a global concern because, come July, the world will be descending on Paris for the 2024 Olympics. Quel désastre!

Paris will welcome the world in nine months as the host of the 2024 Olympics. But right now, the City of Light is dealing with very unwelcome visitors: bed bugs.

The small, blood-sucking insects have been spotted all over the French capital — on the Metro (Paris’s public transportation system), in hotels and movie theaters and at the Charles de Gaulle airport.

“No one is safe,” Deputy Mayor of Paris Emmanuel Grégoire posted on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, on Sept. 29. “Faced with a bedbug infestation, coordinated measures are needed that bring together health authorities, communities and all relevant stakeholders to prevent the risk and act effectively.”

Grégoire reached out to Prime Minister Elisabeth Borne, writing, “The state urgently needs to put an action plan in place against this scourge as France is preparing to welcome the Olympic and Paralympic games in 2024,” according to Reuters. The outlet added that Transport Minister Clement Beaune was going to address the infestation on public transportation this week…

The Mayo Clinic says bed bugs aren’t known carriers of disease and don’t present any health risks unless someone is allergic to the bites, but the bugs — small, flat, reddish-brown insects that are the size of an apple seed — can severely impact someone’s mental health.

“Psychological sequelae resulting from bed bug biting events include nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance (to keep the bugs away), insomnia, anxiety, avoidance behaviors, and personal dysfunction,” the American Journal of Medicine reports, comparing the effects of bed bugs to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“That really traumatized me,” train passenger Laura Mmadi told CNN following an encounter with the pests. “I’ll keep my luggage closed to prevent them from getting to my home.”

Bed bugs generally hide during the day, coming out at night to feed. “The fact that we can actually see them means that there are a lot of them,” another passenger, Luc Villette, pointed out to CNN, “And in addition, they’re being seen in the day… so there is a big problem somewhere.”

[From People]

Bed bug panic is no joke — I moved to New York in time to catch one of the rampant phases. A family I babysat for had to clean out everything in their apartment three times because their neighbors wouldn’t do a proper fumigation. Meanwhile another friend of mine swears up and down that the bugs got into the city in the first place via a couch of David Bowie’s that she helped to relocate. I know, it’s a looney story. But it also got me thinking… We know a British man who visited Paris recently. You guys, King Charles brought bed bugs to Paris! I have no proof, yet I also have no qualms about starting this rumor. Merci beaucoup, Charles.

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