What sauce! Dame Ian McKellen is in fine feather for this classic panto: LUKE JONES reviews Mother Goose

Mother Goose (Theatre Royal, Brighton and touring)

Rating: ****

The old ham is fantastic. Hair full of rollers, a voice of rattling thunder, chunky pearls, and a bosom that could interfere with tides: Sir Ian McKellen is having a wonderful time.

He’s rightly back in panto, dressed like a Carry On secretary, with a face like an embalmed Mrs Slocombe.

There’s nothing like a classic Dame. Especially one who’s an Oscar-nominated, bard-bothering knight of the realm.

McKellen romps around, dances, murders a song or too, and strips almost naked (no McKellen performance is complete without it) before plunging into an enchanted lake.

There’s nothing like a classic Dame. Especially one who’s an Oscar-nominated, bard-bothering knight of the realm. Pictured: Ian McKellen 

Comedian John Bishop (left) plays McKellen’s (right) husband Vic, a respectable turn that garners just enough laughs

There’s a flash of thigh, a bedroom scene and a joyous lip-pursing eyebrow raise as a co-star asks if he ‘believes in fairies’. Mother Goose is a festive treat that ticks all the right boxes and it’s nobly touring the provinces through to April.

He is the titular Mother (Caroline to friends) who hits the jackpot when an actual goose lands in her band of talking animal strays and proceeds to plop a golden egg.

A wild chase of a plot ensues with an evil fairy, a shot at fame and a Goose King.

But what lingers in the mind is deliciously cheap innuendo and camp pop numbers. The show is written by Jonathan Harvey, who gave us Gimme Gimme Gimme, and directed by Cal McCrystal, who was comedy director of the National Theatre’s monster hit One Man, Two Guvnors.

So it’s suitably packed with filthy jokes and only occasionally drops the pace.

There’s a very 2022 flavour. The mention of cake summons a pig called Boris; there’s a donkey which ‘identifies’ as a llama; the plot hinges on sky-high energy bills. And Mother Goose’s menagerie finds refuge in the deserted shell of an inner-city Debenhams.

Comedian John Bishop plays McKellen’s husband Vic, a respectable turn that garners just enough laughs. The night I went he fluffed a gag involving a male chicken concealed in their duvet (think about it) but otherwise worked the crowd well.

The show is written by Jonathan Harvey, who gave us Gimme Gimme Gimme, and directed by Cal McCrystal, who was comedy director of the National Theatre’s monster hit One Man, Two Guvnors

Anna-Jane Casey, as the menopausal Goose, breaks into flushes in between each golden ovulation. She provides a much-needed slice of West End pizzazz with a belting voice and the best tap feet up there.

Genevieve Nicole, from the ensemble, is majestically hilarious as our new Queen Consort, grinding her tweedy behind against Bishop and necking a family measure of gin and tonic as she totters off. A team of three is required to lift McKellen up from his low curtsy.

All pantomime ingredients are accounted for: Random songs we can all sing along to; shouts from the crowd; CBBC method acting; and an 83-year-old RSC trained Dame pelting a front row four-year-old with fake eggs. 

There was joy and confusion as adults heaved with laughter and a pre-schooler behind me asked his mother: ‘Is this panto?’ Yes, child. Behold!

For tour dates see mothergooseshow.co.uk 

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