How to heat pizza on an iron, just one task for today’s Army recruits: CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV

Soldier (BBC1)

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A Dog Called Laura (ITV1)

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A couple of years ago, the gruelling obstacle courses and training exercises endured by teenage infantry recruits on Soldier (BBC1) might have seemed anachronistic, a relic of Britain’s military past.

The era of trench warfare belonged to World War I, so why would bewildered, frightened but courageous young Army volunteers be forced to practise sitting in icy mud and water up to their waists? They looked like ducklings abandoned by their mother… albeit heavily armed ducklings in combat gear.

But Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has forced all of us to face a shocking reality. This is how war in Europe still looks. Just beyond the Nato border, hundreds of thousands of conscripts are fighting and dying in these conditions — and if the psychotic dictator Vladimir Putin is not halted, this hideous vision of war could march westwards.

Britain’s defences, and the young men and women who bravely join our armed forces, have rarely mattered more. This documentary, following a platoon of recruits (some as young as 17), made no political points, and did not venture to ask whether MoD budgets could ensure our troops will always have enough equipment, enough air cover, enough support.

A couple of years ago, the gruelling obstacle courses and training exercises endured by teenage infantry recruits on Soldier ( BBC 1) might have seemed anachronistic, a relic of Britain’s military past. Pictured: Curtis Dryden

Martin Clunes (pictured) met five eager recruits to the Guide Dogs For The Blind, as he joined a fitness instructor named Jaina who was selecting her new assistance animal in A Dog Called Laura

The only question here was whether they would have enough training. And the answer turned on how quickly the veteran NCOs at Catterick Garrison could instil discipline in the products of an education system where discipline is now a dirty word.

One lad, 21-year-old Private Curtis Dryden, was a willing learner but found it alien to treat his superiors as, well, superior. 

He admitted: ‘At first, you’re not used to being that respectful to people. I never used to walk up to my teacher in school and be like, ‘Corporal Jones, can I have a pen please?’ Like, I used to laugh at stuff like that.’

Others were struggling with the need to be serious and stop larking about. One irrepressible recruit, 17-year-old Callum Stretton, was eager for the travel and adventure, and the chance to help people, but he was less keen on the prospect of being shot at.

There, I sympathise. I always thought that, if the urge to get paid for seeing the world ever seized me, I’d be a steward on a cruise ship.

Mind you, as the Mail’s travel editor Mark Palmer revealed in a hilarious report last month, difficult guests on holiday liners can be more intimidating than a squadron of divebombers.

Back in the barracks, the troops were learning an invaluable skill: how to heat up a left-over slice of pizza on a steam iron. That’s a handy talent, anywhere on the planet.

The five candidates included a yellow Lab called Mr Darcy, who lived up to his dashing name and practically dragged Jaina down the street, and an adorable Labrador/retriever cross called Cath. Pictured: Martin Clunes and Jana Mistry

If ITV decide to continue making For The Love Of Dogs at Battersea rescue centre, Martin will be the ideal successor to the late Paul O’Grady. Pictured: Martin Clunes and David Issac

Martin Clunes met five eager recruits to the Guide Dogs For The Blind, as he joined a fitness instructor named Jaina who was selecting her new assistance animal in A Dog Called Laura (ITV1). 

Black Lab Laura had been Jaina’s first guide dog and, at the grand age of 11, was now retired. Martin heard about her on a radio show and, as the devoted owner of four dogs, immediately decided to adopt her.

That supplied the perfect excuse for a documentary on how dogs and blind owners are paired up. 

The five candidates included a yellow Lab called Mr Darcy, who lived up to his dashing name and practically dragged Jaina down the street, and an adorable Labrador/retriever cross called Cath.

Jaina fell in love with Cath at once, and so did Martin. His easy rapport with all dogs, and his soppy adoration for puppies, was unfeigned. 

If ITV decide to continue making For The Love Of Dogs at Battersea rescue centre, Martin will be the ideal successor to the late Paul O’Grady.

Stars-and-strippers of the week: America is discovering Channel 4‘s rude bits. 

All six series of Naked Attraction have been streaming to U.S. viewers via the Max channel since last month, and are topping the service’s charts. 

Well, it is the land of the free…

All six series of Naked Attraction (pictured) have been streaming to US viewers via the Max channel since last month, and are topping the service’s charts

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