Would you kiss a horse on the lips? Would you kiss a horse on the lips knowing you had a severe allergy to Equus caballus? Jamie Dornan can answer yes to both questions. If you’re an Australian, British, or Irish actor like Jamie, chances are you will be riding a horse at some point in your career. Jamie encountered this early, during his first acting gig in 2006’s Marie Antoinette. His reactions in training were so severe that he had to be drugged for most of the shoot. But it was a valuable lesson. So when 2012 rolled around and he was filming the TV series New Worlds, he knew when to medicate and how much he could safely interact with the horses, right? No, he goes ahead and kisses Mr. Ed on the lips. Jamie recounted his ill-fated equine smooch while on The Graham Norton Show last week:

Jamie Dornan is recalling his very regrettable close encounter with a horse.

While appearing on The Graham Norton Show on Friday, the Irish actor, 41, regaled the audience with a hilarious story about how he once kissed a horse on a TV set despite being “highly allergic” to the animals.

“I like them as a species, I just can’t get close,” Dornan said, before explaining that he made the grievous error of locking lips with the equine despite previously running into trouble with a horse while filming Marie Antoinette — his first-ever acting role — back in 2006.

“My character [Count Axel Fersen] pretty much has to spend the whole movie on a horse,” he recounted. “And I forgot I hadn’t been around horses for a long time.”

To get ready for filming, he underwent two weeks of riding training outside Paris. “So I’m trotting around this place … and in the back, one of the runner’s faces just looked [shocked],” he said of the crew member’s reaction to his appearance. “I was itchy, and my whole face had become a giant hive.”

He continued, “I had to get EpiPens. Then they almost couldn’t insure me to do the movie.”

To continue the job, he needed to be medicated whenever he was near a horse. “So if you see me on a horse, I’m very heavily medicated,” he joked.

Despite this extreme allergic reaction, Dornan went on to work with horses again in the 2012 historical drama New Worlds. It seems the Fifty Shades of Grey actor developed quite an affinity for his assigned horse on the series’ set.

“I really liked the horse I had. And I thought, ‘It’s the final day. You know what? I love this horse.’ So I gave her a kiss on the lips,” he said, prompting Norton, 60, to jokingly interject, “What medication were you on?”

As the audience laughed, Dornan continued his story, “I went, ‘You know what, we’re nearly over. I have half a day left.’ The horse was picture wrapped. So I gave it a kiss.”

Not surprisingly, the sweet moment did not end well for Dornan. “And then my lips absolutely blew up,” he recounted. “And we couldn’t shoot the rest of the day.”

[From People]

Where were animal protection services when all this was going down, I ask you?! Or in the case of a UK shoot, the RSPCA. Look, I understand that attraction is out of our control. The heart wants what the heart wants. You don’t decide to be attracted to someone, it’s a chemical-physiological reaction. And sometimes you have that reaction to a horse. Peter Shaffer wrote a whole play about it. But a film set is still a place of work, and you don’t violate the personal boundaries of your scene partner like that! This horse could’ve been just getting started in its career, excited to work with a seasoned actor. Or maybe the reverse, maybe New Worlds was this horse’s swan song, and its last moments were tainted by the bitter taste of Irish machismo. The infatuation is not the crime, Jamie. The kiss is. Next time try offering an apple or a carrot, instead. That would be a much better initiation of amorous gestures. And your lips won’t blow up. (CB would like it noted that Jamie Dornan is a hot, nice dad and should be appreciated as such.)

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