Jennifer Aniston is opening up like never before.

In a new interview with Allure out on Wednesday, the Friends star revealed she tried to get pregnant amid all those years of intense speculation from tabloids — but it just wasn’t meant to be. While speaking to a reporter in her Los Angeles home, Jen opened up about how she feels in this stage of her life after spending time facing her internal battles, reflecting:

“I feel the best in who I am today, better than I ever did in my 20s or 30s even, or my mid-40s. We needed to stop saying bad s**t to ourselves. You’re going to be 65 one day and think, I looked f**king great at 53. I’m proud of my wrinkles and gray hair.”

And she should be proud. She’s aging like fine wine! Just take a look at some of the photos from the shoot (below)!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CkvfMfiL2tE/

A post shared by Allure Magazine (@allure)

A post shared by Allure Magazine (@allure)

We see you, girl!

While Jennifer has grown to love her body as she gets older, she also feels more confident after dealing with some private struggles over the years. She mused:

“I would say my late 30s, 40s, I’d gone through really hard s**t, and if it wasn’t for going through that, I would’ve never become who I was meant to be. That’s why I have such gratitude for all those s**tty things. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck being this person that was so fearful, so nervous, so unsure of who they were. And now, I don’t f**king care.”

And then she made the shocking revelation: several years ago, she was deeply focused on trying to have a baby, but it just wasn’t in the cards. The Morning Show star shared:

“I was trying to get pregnant. It was a challenging road for me, the baby-making road.”

It’s a secret she’s held until now, adding:

“Yeah, nobody does . All the years and years and years of speculation… It was really hard. I was going through IVF, drinking Chinese teas, you name it. I was throwing everything at it. I would’ve given anything if someone had said to me, ‘Freeze your eggs. Do yourself a favor.’ You just don’t think it. So here I am today. The ship has sailed.”

Oof…

It must have been so tough to be trying to get pregnant with all the talk and headlines about her body, relationship, and family life. At the time, reports claimed the actress didn’t want to have kids because she was more interested in her career. They also speculated it was a reason she and her ex-husband Justin Theroux split in 2017 (following her marriage to Brad Pitt). Slamming the “narrative that was just selfish” and “just cared about career,” Jennifer continued:

“And God forbid a woman is successful and doesn’t have a child. And the reason my husband left me, why we broke up and ended our marriage, was because I wouldn’t give him a kid. It was absolute lies. I don’t have anything to hide at this point.”

It’s why she put journalists, paparazzi, and rabid fans on blast in a Huffington Post op-ed titled “For The Record” in 2016 after dealing with constant baby bump speculation. The 53-year-old dished:

“I got so frustrated. Hence that op-ed I wrote . I was like, ‘I’ve just got to write this because it’s so maddening and I’m not superhuman to the point where I can’t let it penetrate and hurt.’”

On top of it all, the obsession with her at the time must have made her secret baby-making journey even more of a pressure cooker.

Thankfully, she’s come out of the tough period of her life with a grateful attitude, she explained:

“I have zero regrets. I actually feel a little relief now because there is no more, ‘Can I? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.’ I don’t have to think about that anymore.”

Whoa. What a mature outlook. Interestingly, this may not be the last time we hear about her IVF challenges. As if thinking out loud, the Just Go With It lead seemingly revealed she’s been considering writing a book, saying:

“I’m going to do that one day. I’m going to stop saying, ‘I can’t write.’ I’ve spent so many years protecting my story about IVF. I’m so protective of these parts because I feel like there’s so little that I get to keep to myself. The creates narratives that aren’t true, so I might as well tell the truth. I feel like I’m coming out of hibernation. I don’t have anything to hide.”

Wow! We’re sure a lot of people would be eager to hear about her life in a memoir! After Matthew Perry‘s latest release, it seems like there’s still plenty of interest to hear from all the Friends alums, too! When asked what she would call this current chapter of her life, Jennifer smiled and said, “Phoenix Rising.” Amazing! We never knew how much she was struggling behind closed doors, but it’s great to hear she has unpacked a lot of her baggage and is feeling better and lighter than ever.

Ch-ch-check out her full cover story HERE! Thoughts?! Let us know (below)!

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