WHEN her boyfriend asked her if she wanted to start swinging, Rosie Kay felt like running for the hills.
But flash forward 10 years and the 34-year-old is now a full-time non-monogamy coach, teaching couples how to be unfaithful while remaining faithful.
Rosie, from Sheffield, even quit her 9-5 job as a personal assistant, and now earns £90-an-hour as a certified swinging coach.
She claims she's saved "countless relationships" through teaching couples to be more open and enjoy the swinger lifestyle.
“In my eyes, monogamy doesn't exist with human sexuality," she says.
Rosie admits she was terrified of jeopardising their relationship when her now ex-partner suggested they start swinging together.
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She recalls: “I worried that my boyfriend would fall in love with other women.
“We had a happy, loving relationship and I didn’t think swinging would be for me.”
But shortly after Rosie, who identifies as bisexual, decided to give it a go.
She explains: “My boyfriend explained to me that it didn’t mean that he no longer loved me, and he wasn’t looking for a relationship with anyone else.
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4"I’d always wanted to explore my sexuality, but felt it wasn’t something I could do whilst in my relationship.
“After his reassurance I felt ready to try it.”
They met their first couple at a bar to get to know each other, before hiring an apartment where they spent the night.
Rosie says: “My first swinging experience showed me that there was no threat of other women stealing my boyfriend.
“Instead, it was all about having fun and exploring different sexual experiences.
“There were no feelings involved, and we were able to detach love from sex."
There were no feelings involved, and we were able to detach love from sex
The couple then tried out a swinger's club, but set out ground rules beforehand to ensure they were on the same page.
“Our main boundaries were to always practice safe sex and to only be intimate with other people in the same room," Rosie says.
“I was really nervous before going to a swinger’s club for the first time.
“I wanted to fit in, so I wore suspenders, stockings and sexy lingerie.
"My mind was picturing an intense and seedy club, but it wasn't like that and me and my boyfriend got chatting to like-minded couples.
"After our first experience, the love me and my boyfriend shared became deeper.”
Boosted sex life
From then on, Rosie was hooked. The couple started attending swinging parties at least once a month and she claims it improved their sex life.
But not every experience was a positive one.
Rosie says: "One time a man became angry that his wife was enjoying my boyfriend too much and started an argument.
"My boyfriend and I left because it got too intense.
"If that was my first time in a club I would have been really put-off.”
One time at a swingers club, a man became angry that his wife was enjoying my boyfriend too much and started an argument
The pair carried on swinging until their amicable split in 2019.
Rosie continued swinging and having open relationships with both men and women.
She says: "Transitioning into swinging as a single woman was a bit of a shock to the system.
“Me and my boyfriend could always rely on each other, and I had to learn how to deal with rejection.
“But one of the most amazing swinging experiences I had was with a couple who enjoyed watching each other pleasure me.
“The intensity was magical and it felt so satisfying to see them both embracing the swinger lifestyle.”
Wanting to keep her swinging life discreet, Rosie decided to start her own blog to document her experiences.
Swingers school
As her blog grew, she noticed how many people online were interested in the non-monogamy lifestyle but didn’t know where to start.
Rosie says: “I decided to train as a relationships coach, specialising in open relationships and swinging.”
In 2020 Rosie became a certified swingers coach and left her job to help the growing list of clients who needed her help.
Rosie holds Zoom sessions with people advising them about non-monogamous and swinger lifestyles, charging couples £90 an hour.
One of the most amazing swinging experiences I had was with a couple who enjoyed watching each other pleasure me
Rosie, who is currently single, explains: "People come to me with all sorts of worries and misconceptions.
"Most often, single men are concerned about how to approach couples; single women want to know if the clubs are safe, and couples are after advice about how to overcome jealousy.
“With my reassurance I give them tools to jump into the world of swinging confidently and safely.
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"I’m so proud to say that swinging has given me a career that I love.
“Hopefully I can help even more people to be bold and move against the grain.”
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