Written by Laura Hampson

The lack of body positivity in bridalwear is leaving plus-size brides without the “Say yes to the dress” moment they’d always hoped for. 

“That’s it,” I thought to myself. “That’s the one.” 

As my eyes settled for the first time on the dress I knew I would wear on my wedding day, I felt the sensation that people say all brides experience: a sense of elation that you’ve found ‘the one’, and the wave of relief that comes with the knowledge that you can finally stop looking. 

But I wasn’t looking at myself in the mirror of a bridal boutique when I found her; no, I was looking at an image on the screen of my laptop.

Buying my wedding dress online was not something I had ever considered. I’d always dreamed of that movie moment; you know, the one where the bride is surrounded by her mum and closest friends, drinking glasses of champagne and trying on dress after dress until she steps out in one that makes them gasp in delight. But the reason I chose to buy my wedding dress online without trying it on was two fold. One, the pandemic has meant I wouldn’t get a chance to see my mum and closest friends in my native New Zealand before my October wedding. And two, I didn’t want my wedding dress shopping experience to be marred by the fact that I’m a plus-size bride, and most bridalwear shops wouldn’t cater to someone like me. 

For most of my adult life, I have flitted between being a UK size 16 and a size 22. In the lead-up to my wedding, I sat squarely at a size 18, which puts me somewhere in the grey area between straight size and plus size – a size privilege many plus-size brides don’t have. While there’s no standard size range that bridal boutiques stock, most will have a “sample size” in UK size 8 or 10, and a “plus-size sample” in a UK size 16, the size of the average British woman. So what’s left for the rest of us who are above average?

“The bridal industry operates in such a way that bridal boutiques only buy one or two samples of a dress, which prevents them from being size inclusive,” Charlotte Mills, a luxury bridal footwear designer, tells Stylist. “This is usually due to budget and long lead times, which is really disheartening for brides when they fall in love with a dress online and can’t try it on in-store.”

Mills herself launched a wide-fit range of her shoes in 2018 to make them more inclusive, a range that now accounts for 40% of her total sales. This shows just how in-demand inclusivity is for bridalwear. 

Mills isn’t the only person offering extended sizes. Justin Alexander has designed dresses with curves in mind for years, as has Kate Halfpenny of Halfpenny London, whose dresses go up to a UK size 22. Just last month, Ashley Graham announced she had partnered with Pronovias once more to design a second bridal collection. The range goes from a US size 0 (UK size 4) to a US size 32 (UK size 36). But it shouldn’t take a celebrity pairing to create accessible plus-size gowns.

“I feel like we need to see the industry better educated on different body shapes so that inclusivity can be built into each gown from the very beginning of the design process,” says Megan Ziems, founder of Grace Loves Lace. The cult Australian brand has offered size-inclusive, made-to-order gowns since its inception in 2011. But this still doesn’t solve the fact that a plus-size woman can’t walk into a bridal boutique and try on any dress she chooses.

“The bridal industry has been quite slow to evolve to new styling ways and in designing dresses to fit a wider size range,” says Heather McReynolds, VP and GMM for bridal and dresses at David’s Bridal. David’s Bridal is one of America’s largest bridal boutique chains and it has several stores in the UK too, where it stocks sizes UK 4 to 34.

McReynolds adds that the bridalwear industry needs to “reach a point where brides can feel confident and represented within a store regardless of their size”.

“The industry must recognise that a one-size-fits-all policy does not work,” she adds. “Most retailers will manufacture products based on a size 6-8 pattern and will simply scale upward from here. This leads to inaccurate larger sizing as the dresses have not been cut with the right proportions to suit a plus-size model.”

I do feel cheated in a way that I didn’t get to experience the “Say yes to the dress” moment that a lot of brides have. I would look at my straight-sized friends and colleagues, or even people on WeddingTok who were engaged and think how easy it must be for them – that they can simply walk into a bridal boutique and try on any dress of their choosing. It’s an experience I missed out on and one I will never get back. But I am lucky in the sense that, as I browsed Anthropologie’s bridalwear offshoot BHLDN, I found a dress I loved that felt like “me”. It wasn’t quite the movie moment I had hoped for, but it was love at first sight, and I will cherish the moment when I get to try it on with my mum for the first time. However, until the industry makes concerted efforts to move forward with inclusivity, that moment is one that not every plus-size bride will have – and this simply isn’t good enough.

Images: courtesy of brands

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