DO you ever find yourself telling your child "no" for what feels like a million times a day?
Well, one mum – and self-described gentle parent – has explained how to avoid that, and it's all about the way you talk to your kids.
"If you’re a parent of a toddler and you find yourself stuck in the loop of ‘Don’t do that’, ’No, no, no’ or ‘Stop, stop!’, this video is for you," Namwila explained in a video on her TikTok page.
"Something that always seems to work when it comes to kids is understanding that their brain works like Yoda speaks.
"Yes, you heard that correctly.
"And what I mean by that is negative language doesn’t really work with kids – it kind of goes over their head.
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"Let me give you an example. ‘No, stop jumping on the sofa’. Using my example, when a child hears ‘No, stop jumping on the sofa’, the way they perceive language they kind of zone out at the beginning, and they’ll definitely hear ‘jump on the sofa’.
"The difficulty with telling them what NOT to do is you’re not telling them what to do."
Namwila explained that she uses the approach of using "science and psychology to work with our kids’ brain instead of against it".
Giving an example of how "you can say no without saying no", she advised that instead of saying "stop jumping on the sofa", you should say "feet on the floor please, bum on the sofa".
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"Instead of saying 'stop running', say 'walk please'," she continued.
Namwila captioned her video: "With toddlers, speak like Yoda, you must!
"Understanding how to avoid using negative language and instead using positive language can help work with your child’s brain and avoid some of those power struggles or tantrums."
People were quick to comment on the video, with one person writing: "As a person who works in childcare that’s what we do! For example instead of saying 'don’t run' we say 'walking feet please!'"
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"Hence why for example I don't say to anyone 'don't forget the …… ' instead I say 'remember the ……'," another added.
"I needed this. I swear 10/10 times my son doesn’t follow my instructions," a third wrote.
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