A SEX EXPERT has revealed the bedroom act that some men do that women can hate – and why they do it.
Nadia Bokody, from Australia, wrote for News.com.au: “I once dated a guy who put his hand around my neck while we were having sex.
“Not in an attempt to cause me harm, but because – as he later revealed – he’d seen it performed in porn, and assumed I’d be into it.
“What was most striking about this encounter, was the fact he didn’t ask me if I’d like it first, because he was afraid of looking inept.”
Nadia said she often hears time and time again from male readers how they don’t talk to their partners in the bedroom as they’ve been taught men should know what they are doing.
Boys & Sex author Peggy Orenstein wrote: “By midway through kindergarten – that’s age five or six – they’ve learned from their peers to knock that stuff off, at least in public: to disconnect from feelings, shun intimacy, and become hierarchical in their behaviour.
“The lifelong physical and mental health consequences of that gender performance are ingrained as early as 10.
“By 14, boys become convinced that other guys will ‘lose respect’ for them if they talk about problems.”
Nadia said that often intimacy can become a “near-impossible act for men”.
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She added: “We teach men sex is a power exchange, then find ourselves gobsmacked that reports of sexual harassment and assault continue to skyrocket in an era where we’ve invested so much energy into making consent hip.
“But focusing on what ‘yes’ looks like and ignoring the reasons so many men don’t ask for it in the first place misses the point entirely.
“As long as we condition boys to perform their maleness by shunning vulnerability, discussion of the mechanics of consent will be largely redundant.”
Nadia previously revealed the common lie told in the bedroom which is ‘hurting women’.
And a sexpert shared the four mistakes we’re all making in the bedroom and why you need to focus on ‘afterplay’.
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