A guide to dating an over-achiever, for everyone who’s ‘just Ken’

‘She’s everything. He’s just Ken,’ reads the tagline for the new Barbie movie.

The upcoming Greta Gerwig film features Margot Robbie in the titular role, with a bleach-blonde Ryan Gosling playing her downtrodden boyfriend, Ken.

Little is known about the plot so far, but recently-released promotional images sparked a wave of sartorial fawning (expect to see Barbiecore everywhere this summer) and more than a few memes.

We know the film will feature President Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Nobel prize-winning Barbie and Lawyer Barbie. Ken’s achievements? Who knows.

Riffing off the running joke that Ken is secondary to his Mattel mate, social media users have been sharing pictures of other couples where one partner is perceived to be in the other’s shadow.

Fictional characters like Elle and Warner from Legally Blonde were referenced alongside real-world pairs such as Taylor Swift and now-ex Joe Alwyn, sending the message that, behind every powerful woman is her own ‘just Ken’.

The tongue-in-cheek meme is all good fun, but if there’s a ‘just Ken’ in your romantic history – or you’re feeling like Ken right now – there may be a scientific reason for your coupling…

‘Contrasting yourself with an idealised image of another can sadly threaten self-esteem,’ explains Lisa.

‘“Ken” will likely feel very insecure and feel like he is unworthy, which is likely to cause further insecurities sadly – and it might actually be transferred to the other partner who feels like the relationship is full of chaos.’

‘Ultimately, your thoughts affect your emotions and your emotions affect your actions. They are all interconnected and it is important to look at them both.’

she’s everything, he’s just Ken pic.twitter.com/xSCD3YLrhg

Simply speaking to your partner about why you feel overshadowed can take the weight off your shoulders – but be careful to avoid blaming or shaming them for your feelings. It’s not their fault they’re a Barbie, after all.

When you believe you’re less-than, it can be tempting to push others away, perhaps believing it’s better to leave before being left. That does nothing, though, to resolve a deep-seated lack of confidence.

If you’re the ‘Ken’ in your partnership, it could be worth taking a leaf out of the character’s book. Yes, he’s second fiddle to Barbie in the eyes of others, but he still puts on a smile (and some rollerskates) and gives things his best.

Stop worrying about what other people think, get your own Barbie Dream House in order and remember that a successful relationship is built on trust and support.

Life in plastic is only as fantastic as you make it – and every Barbie needs a Ken.

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