ALEXANDRA SHULMAN: Christmas brings out the Stepford Wife in us

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN’S NOTEBOOK: Christmas? It brings out the Stepford Wife in us 

I firmly believe that womenkind have only ourselves to blame for making such a palaver about Christmas. But there is something about the annual celebration that brings out the Stepford Wife in most of us.

Men don’t really care about Christmas, or if they do, they show little inclination to get involved in all the preparation. Yet even the least domesticated woman finds it hard to avoid getting swept up in the search for perfection.

Recently, the Queen of Christmas Craftiness, Kirstie Allsopp, mentioned she would be spending the day with her family in a New York hotel. 

There are many things I admire about Kirstie and here’s another to add, not only because she’ll no doubt have great fun but also because she was brave enough to admit to skiving off, when her career is founded on doing all kinds of clever things with tinsel and a sprig of holly.

I am a stranger to the layering of presentation plates and mats, centrepieces and an exotic candle display. But at Christmas, suddenly, taking this more basic approach seems to fall short (Stock photo) 

Recently, the Queen of Christmas Craftiness, Kirstie Allsopp , mentioned she would be spending the day with her family in a New York hotel 

I would like to spend Christmas in a hotel, too, but am committed to hosting at home and, of course, have started making those wretched lists and considering whether frozen sprouts would be an acceptable short-cut this year, and should it be turkey? (Last year I did fillet of beef, so much easier, and it seemed fine.)

Christmas, though, seeps into us and even those of us least inclined to have a colour scheme for our wrapping find ourselves overwhelmed by a nagging urge to at least try to wind a garland of something or other up the stairs and sprinkle fairy lights around the place.

Even though there is no one in my house who cares for such things, and I know that I am incapable of creating any such designs, I’m still considering what to do.

The last time I tried I put a staple gun through the string of lights and that was that. 

Even the least domesticated woman finds it hard to avoid getting swept up in the search for perfection (Stock Image) 

I have nothing but admiration for people who turn their houses into show homes for the festive season, scented with nutmeg and pine, glittering and cosy. 

But I am bemused by why, as a sentient adult, I can’t accept that this is not in my skill set.

The rest of the year I have no desire to be an excellent home stylist. My tables are laid with a plate or two, a glass and some cutlery. 

I am a stranger to the layering of presentation plates and mats, centrepieces and an exotic candle display. But at Christmas, suddenly, taking this more basic approach seems to fall short.

Even so, clearly my ambition isn’t really that great because next week I’m off to a hot place for a short holiday, which will undoubtedly ensure maximum panic when I return pre-Christmas to the long, unticked to-do list.

Why socks appeal kicks in in your 40s

Still thinking of Christmas, at what age do you become the person who thinks socks are not only an acceptable present to receive but positively welcome them – especially if they are cashmere. 

A quick straw poll the other night suggested that life’s transition point in such thinking is the mid-40s. And soap as a present? Is that the same age?

We’re facing a future of no news nights

The BBC’s decision to cut short Newsnight and cull 34 jobs on the programme is completely baffling. Politics is the new rock and roll, as the saying goes.

Gardening and cookery books are being bounced off the bestseller lists by political tomes. 

Alastair Campbell and Rory Stewart are making a fortune from their podcasts and live shows, while The News Agents, presented by Emily Maitlis and Jon Sopel, is flying high in the podcast charts. 

At a time when fashion magazines have suffered huge circulation declines, weekly and monthly political journals are holding their own.

The News Agents, presented by Emily Maitlis (pictured) and Jon Sopel, is flying high in the podcast chart 

The Newsnight decision is daft, made even more daft by the BBC’s Head of News and Current Affairs, Deborah Turness, trying to justify it by saying that Corporation bosses had listened to audience feedback and claim they had no interest in Newsnight’s famous investigations. 

Does anyone remember the Maitlis and Prince Andrew interview not so long ago?

Market research is famously inaccurate. Most people canvassed invariably don’t know what they want – they only know if they like something after they’ve seen it and frequently say they prefer something they think they ought to prefer, rather than what they really enjoy.

Reducing Newsnight to a cheaper panel discussion (which, incidentally, is a format better suited to radio) is simply ensuring that a programme which is essential viewing for many every evening will probably disappear altogether soon.

Spiteful Scobie is no threat to the King

Scobie’s the person who was never quite able to be part of the cool gang, his nose always pressed against the glass and who is obsessed with taking revenge

Who cares what Omid Scobie writes about the state of the monarchy? Not I, who does generally care about the monarchy but not about books written by a guy whose only authority is gained by hovering around on the very outer limits of Royal circles.

I doubt the current, and future, King and Queen are that fussed. Scobie’s the person who was never quite able to be part of the cool gang, his nose always pressed against the glass and who is obsessed with taking revenge.

If the future of the monarchy is truly in the hands of someone as inconsequential as Scobie, it really is in trouble.

Taylor jets in – then makes a swift exit

Taylor Swift took her private jet to appear on the red carpet for her friend Beyoncé’s film premiere

What price friendship? Pretty substantial in the case of Taylor Swift who took her private jet to appear on the red carpet for her friend Beyoncé’s film premiere in London and then flew back to Kansas before the action was over.

I’ve got a bright idea for the party season

My tip for the festive season is to wear a brightly coloured coat when you go to parties.

I went to a great party the other night for the launch of journalist Charles Glass’s new book, but the sea of navy and black coats left at the door meant many guests were on their hands and knees at party end, rummaging around in the pile to find their own garment utterly indistinguishable in the crush.

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