Ariana Grande is a singer, songwriter, actor and all-round cultural phenomenon. But, according to Lilly Jay, she is ‘not a girl’s girl’.

Lost? Let us rewind for a moment…

Ariana is rumoured to be dating her Wicked co-star Ethan Slater after the pair apparently grew close on set.

Until recently, Ethan was in a relationship spanning over a decade with wife Lilly, with whom he shares an 11-month-old son. Ariana, meanwhile, married Dalton Gomez in 2021 after more than a year of dating, but the pair have reportedly split.

Though Ariana and Ethan are yet to publicly release statements on their respective splits, estranged wife Lilly has not held back in the press.

She told Page Six: ‘[Ariana’s] the story really. Not a girl’s girl. My family is just collateral damage.’

It got us thinking: what does it really mean to be a ‘girl’s girl,’ and can you ever truly trust a woman who isn’t one? Two writers go head to head.

You can only trust a girl’s girl. If you tell me you’re a ‘guy’s girl,’ I’m going to keep you at arm’s length.

Alice Giddings, 24, is a lifestyle writer at Metro.co.uk.

You can only truly trust a girl who is a ‘girl’s girl’. Now, I’ll preface this by saying that if you are genuinely a girl who prefers to have male friends over female friends then you are completely entitled to do so.

However, if you’re a girl who claims to be very close with your female friends and all your ‘best friends’ are girls, it’s essential you’re a ‘girl’s girl,’ or else fallout is inevitable.

For me, being a ‘girl’s girl’ can be boiled down to a few things: being trustworthy around your friend’s partners, ensuring the safety of your friends and prioritising this over some random guy, and building each other up not tearing each other down.

It also includes having the ability to be genuinely happy for your girl friends rather than envying something they have and wanting to take it from them.

I put myself firmly in this category and in my experience, if a girl tells me she’s a ‘guy’s girl,’ it usually stems from her insecurity – which is unfortunate, because she is much more likely to upset her female friends in favour of external validation from men.

She’ll likely ditch you on a night out for some guy she’s known for five minutes, tell you she thinks your boyfriend fancies her and mention ‘the boys’ every chance she gets.

But before you say ‘oh, well you wouldn’t like it if a guy said he was a “man’s man”‘, you’re right. But I’ll tell you why it’s different.

When it comes to social settings and the inherently misogynistic rhetoric women battle against, the disparities between men and women surrounding issues of safety and equality create a much greater need for the “girl’s girl” than there will ever be for the “man’s man”.

The ‘girl’s girl’ is vital to ensuring that women feel supported, safe and heard amongst each other, whereas men have never historically struggled in that regard.

So for me, the girl’s girls win every time.

Being a ‘pick me girl’ is someone arguably just doing her best to play the system.

Tanyel Mustafa, 27, is a lifestyle writer at Metro.co.uk.

Look, I’ve been labelled a ‘girl’s girl’ too and can’t lie, I prefer to keep friendships with women who are this way too, but I also see the nuance of the situation.

Being a ‘pick me girl’, or a woman who favours and prioritises the attention, affection and platonic companionship of men, is arguably a woman just doing her best to play the system.

Sexism is inherent in us all – women included. We only need to look at the women freely labelling others as ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ to see how casual this is. By getting in with ‘the boys’, a woman inclined this way is just positioning herself where society has told her is best. 

It doesn’t mean she can’t be trusted – and if the only thing that deems her ‘untrustworthy’ is the presence of men and nothing else, I think we’re overlooking the obvious clue.

Men are never subjected to the same categories. If a man has lots of female friends, plenty of people will read that as he’s a cute harmless (if a bit sad) guy. Sometimes women just have more male friends, and there’s no ulterior motive.

And as for the conversation around a certain celebrity who’s been labelled a ‘homewrecker’ and the opposite of a girl’s girl, I always think these discussions miss the mark.

The man involved in any relationship breakdown is the man who made the promise to not cheat. The woman cheating happens with is kind of irrelevant – it could be anyone. And while said woman’s personal politics may be questionable to say the least, the focus needs to be on the man, when it rarely is.

Instead of attacking the pick me girl/other woman/homewrecker, let’s look at who was actually in that home and stepped out of it. And if it turns you off as a girl’s girl, you’re free to align yourself with other women who value their female friendships.

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