I notice that Spectrum is having great success with its new column, The Verdict, in which readers vote on whether certain things are underrated or overrated. Can I have a turn? There are so many things, especially from Australia’s recent past, that are now criminally underrated.

Chardonnay, especially the old-fashioned wooded stuff

If you are not spitting wood chips after each glass, it’s not the real deal. You should be able to build a house from the oak contained in each bottle. Why did people turn away from wooded chardonnay? Was it just because Kath and Kim liked it? Or did it lack “restraint”? I’ve always thought “restraint” was the most curious compliment when it comes to food and wine. “That Italian pinot gris was so restrained I could hardly taste anything at all. I could have been drinking tap water. It was just marvellous.” I say: Get your laughing gear around a bottle of Aussie chardy. Delicious!

Cappuccino with extra chocolate on top

There was a point in our culinary history when a proper coffee meant a cappuccino. It was the iceberg lettuce of coffee. There were no other kinds. It became ubiquitous, which was the cause of its downfall. Ordering one was to confess that you didn’t know how to pronounce the newcomers like “ristretto” and “macchiato”. It was code for “I’m a dag”. But consider this: a frothy top, the sweet tang of chocolate and a milk moustache to prove you enjoyed it. You say: “Oh, that’s like something a child would drink”. I say: Exactly.

An ice block with added hope

The Sunny-boy was the most delicious ice block ever. It also pioneered an instant win system in which one-in-five ice blocks contained a prize, redeemable for a second ice block. This second ice block was known as “a free” and tasted so much better than the first. Occasionally, the “free” would itself prove a winner, leading to a third ice block – an event so unusual it would be the talk of the schoolyard for months to come. Sure, there was a downside – an adult population perpetually addicted to gambling – but what fun.

Who could forget the Sunny-boy?Credit:Courtesy of the Daily Juice Company

Books. Actual books

They are so obviously superior to electronic books. You can leave them on a coffee table to impress prospective lovers. You can decorate a room with them. You can lend them to friends. They will automatically fall open at a favourite passage. They can be scribbled on, to remind yourself how clever you used to be. And, get this, they work when you’ve forgotten to recharge the battery.

Cars with gears

Don’t you get bored, you drivers of automatics? I mean, that’s not driving. That’s just sitting there. You have your left foot tucked away just in case it’s tempted to do something, while your left-hand hangs limply by your side, dreaming of a gear stick. The gears add interest. The gears allow you to slow into the corner on a dirt road, rather than pumping the brake so your back end spins out. The gears mean you can roll start the bastard. And when you try to rent a car in some foreign land, and they only have manual vehicles left, you’ll be giddy with self-regard. “Sure,” you’ll say, as the other would-be renters head for the bus, “I can drive one”.

The Country Party when it was run by Doug Anthony

No culture wars. No demonising trans children. Just a truckload of free superphosphate for every vote delivered. Tot up the Country Party vote at each election, and you could calculate the proportion of Nauru to be dug up and delivered before the next election. Politics doesn’t get more transparent.

Black tie events

The black-tie event was on life-support before COVID-19, but then the pandemic killed it off. Many have cheered on its demise. “It doesn’t suit our casual Australian style.” Yes, but every man looks good in black tie. It covers all flaws. Strangely for something so posh, black tie has a democratising effect – everyone looks the same. The short man is taller, the tall man is shorter. The fat man is thinner, and the thin man bulks up a little. And, with the right gap between events, the same suit can last a lifetime – without a single trip to the dry cleaner. Just make sure, between events, it’s well-rested.

A hamburger with a proper bun

Things from the past can be improved, of course they can. Human rights. Inequality. The reliance on fossil fuels. But could you lay off the traditional Australian hamburger? It was always meat, beetroot, pineapple, bacon, onion and egg, served on a proper chewy bun. Now, suddenly, the bun is soft and sweet, as if the main course, as represented by the filling, has been wrapped in its own dessert. Are you people crazy? Or are you lacking teeth? Perhaps they’ve all fallen out due to the overconsumption of soft, sweet buns.

So much from the past deserves to be jettisoned, I know it does, but could we at least hang on to the few good bits?

To read more from Spectrum, visit our page here.

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