CLARE FOGES: I I didn't deserve my OBE

CLARE FOGES: I was so thrilled to get an OBE for advising David Cameron… but I didn’t deserve it

  • It was a once-in-a-lifetime moment and I’m grateful but I don’t deserve it
  • READ MORE: Why we should ban perfume in public places, says CLARE FOGES

Tilt your head forward 45 degrees, maintain eye contact, draw your left foot behind your right, bend the knees, get your bottom down as low as dignity will allow… 

Along with several other ladies I stood in the queue at Buckingham Palace back in 2015 practising my curtsey, nerves building as I edged closer to the front.

After 20 minutes, a Palace official in a morning suit was making a series of hand gestures at me in the manner of a silken traffic controller: ‘Forward… Stop… Go!’

Suddenly, I was striding into a grand red and gold hall, stilettos wobbling in the inch-thick carpet, the orchestra belting out Elgar, an audience of hundreds to the right of me — and, to the left, on a low stage, Prince Charles.

He and I exchanged a few polite words which escape me now; I think my nervous contribution was along the lines of ‘thank-yiz-sir-I-be-mozz-grayfull’.

Afterwards my family and I celebrated with champagne and cake. I was 34 and it was a once-in-a-lifetime moment

The Prince leaned forward and pinned me with the ribboned medal. OBE: Order of the British Empire.

Being a sucker for pomp and pageantry, I loved every gilded, wood-panelled, trumpet-blasting second of it. 

Afterwards my family and I celebrated with champagne and cake. I was 34 and it was a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

So I remain grateful for receiving the OBE.

But, in the years since, I have realised that I don’t deserve it. In fact, I think it is absurd that medals like this are pinned on people like me, honoured ‘for public service’ — for just for doing my job. 

Liz Truss is in the news this week for nominating 14 people for her resignation honours list, despite only being in No 10 for 49 days (and making a bit of a Horlicks of things while she was there). This works out as an honour for every three-and-a-half days she was in office.

Is anyone falling off their chair with shock at this news? No, because we are all wearily familiar with the way gongs are thrown around like confetti by departing prime ministers.

Before Truss there was Boris Johnson, who showered peerages on young political aides.

One, 30-year-old Charlotte Owen — now Baroness Owen of Alderley Edge — was described by former colleagues as being ‘extraordinarily junior’ in the No 10 operation. Now she helps shape the laws of the land.

Before Johnson there was Theresa May, who garlanded special advisers with peerages and medals.

And before her there was David Cameron, who gave an honour to, um, me. Having great respect for our former PM, I am chuffed he chose me for one of his resignation nods. But on reflection I also think it pretty ridiculous.

Yes, I worked hard in No 10 for five years as Cameron’s chief speechwriter. I was often at my desk until midnight, being squinted at by Larry, the imperious Downing Street cat. (‘Don’t you have a life?’ he seemed to purr).

But while I beavered away, I also loved the role. The professional esteem was high. I met world leaders, had a ringside seat on five years of history. Why did I deserve a medal as a cherry on top?

, I think it is absurd that medals like this are pinned on people like me, honoured ‘for public service’ — for just for doing my job

Every resignation honours list brings more cronyism — and more contempt for the system. 

This does a huge disservice to those who really do merit an honour: the ones who dodge bullets in war zones, who volunteer for decades for gritty causes, who cook meals for the poor or care for the disabled, who go above and beyond to make the country a better place.

One of these is my mother, who received an MBE from our late Queen for services to fostering.

For over 20 years my mum cared for dozens of foster children: welcoming distraught toddlers, dealing with abusive teenagers, cooking countless meals, giving thousands of hugs. 

Excuse the crowing but at one point my mother — a single parent — had eight children under one roof! It is this kind of achievement that deserves recognition in the palaces of the land, not spending an interesting few years in Whitehall.

Yes, I worked hard in No 10 for five years as Cameron’s chief speechwriter. I was often at my desk until midnight, being squinted at by Larry, the imperious Downing Street cat

I’m not saying honours shouldn’t go to government staff — but those must be people who have achieved truly outstanding things.

It was entirely right, for instance, that Kate Bingham received a damehood for masterminding the UK’s Covid vaccine taskforce and saving countless lives.

The honours system shouldn’t be abolished. It still holds a lot of power — and it’s right that we as a nation have a way of saying thank you to people like my mum.

But it’s high time the idea of a prime minister’s resignation honours list was junked.

Let’s reserve honours for those who truly deserve them.

Pricey pizza ovens are for fools

Chef Gino D’Acampo is accused of taking people for fools by claiming you can cook a perfect roast chicken in his own-brand pizza oven (a snip at £450)

Chef Gino D’Acampo is accused of taking people for fools by claiming you can cook a perfect roast chicken in his own-brand pizza oven (a snip at £450).

Look, anyone who buys an expensive pizza oven is being taken for a fool. 

I know they’re a middle-class must-have, but let’s face it, the margheritas always end up doughy, floppy, singed or burnt. Sorry, but they’re the Emperor’s New Cookers.

Apparently Ancient Rome is the era most would like to time travel back to. Me? I’d be happy with an era before webinars, when you could actually see a GP, and before every other call was met with ‘Due to unusually high call volumes, you may experience a longer time on hold…’ 1998 will do.

Tom will be a great dad

We had lunch many years ago and he was a charming man. I recall that he was devoted to watering and nurturing his tomato plants

I was delighted to read actor Tom Hollander, 55, is to become a father.

We had lunch many years ago and he was a charming man. I recall that he was devoted to watering and nurturing his tomato plants… If the baby gets the same attention as those tomatoes, it will be well cared for indeed.

Surely 32 is too old to float Leo’s boat!

Turns out this is a false alarm though — former Love Island star Arabella Chi is actually dating his pal, nightclub owner Richie Akiva. Phew

Has hell frozen over? I only ask as a 32-year-old woman has been seen on the yacht of Leonardo DiCaprio.

The 48-year-old lothario usually makes his ladies walk the plank when they hit their mid20s. 

Turns out this is a false alarm though — former Love Island star Arabella Chi is actually dating his pal, nightclub owner Richie Akiva. Phew.

As you were, folks.

 My sympathy is not with Teresa Steele, the patient whose operation was delayed because she demanded that only same-sex health workers look after her. If I was desperate for surgery it wouldn’t matter if the nursing staff were male, female, trans, transitioning or any other group on the (increasingly confusing) LGBT flag. The only two boxes that need ticking are a) qualified and b) kind.

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