Juno star Elliot Page opens up about his brutal ‘struggle to live’ before he transitioned – admitting he ‘selfishly’ threw himself into relationships because they gave him a chance to ‘flee’ his personal pain

• The 35-year-old Umbrella Academy actor revealed he wanted to ‘flee’ every day 
• Elliot – who came out as a transgender man in 2020 – described struggling to live
• The Juno star added everything in his life had gotten better after his transition

Elliot Page has gotten candid about his life before transitioning, describing how he ‘struggled to live’ and ‘didn’t know how much longer’ he would survive. 

Elliot – who came out as a transgender man in December 2020, 13 years after shooting to global stardom in the hit movie Juno – opened up to Jay Shetty in his On Purpose podcast about the various feelings he had during his transition journey. 

The 35-year-old revealed that prior to transitioning he always felt an overwhelming sense of ‘wanting to flee’ and described that everyday tasks became increasingly difficult. 

Elliot, who recently published his memoir, Pageboy, got brutally honest as he lifted the lid on why it was so difficult for him to ‘exist’ before he came out. 

Elliot Page has gotten candid about his life before he transitioned on Jay Shetty’s podcast

The 35-year-old revealed that prior to transitioning he always felt an overwhelming sense of ‘wanting to flee’ and described that everyday tasks became increasingly difficult

Elliot opened up to Jay on his On Purpose podcast about the various feelings he had experienced during his transition journey

In the podcast, he revealed that he now ‘feels free’ after transitioning and added that he felt a way that he ‘never thought was possible.’ 

He added that it had been a ‘gamechanger’ before sharing how he felt before. 

‘For significant periods of my life I struggled to function on a pretty basic level, it was hard for me to literally sit down, it was hard for me to be productive, for me to be present at all,’ Elliot said. 

‘I couldn’t see the future because I didn’t know how much longer I would last feeling that way.’

Elliot noted that he thought continuing to live life in that way and looking towards the future was ‘impossible.’ 

The Umbrella Academy actor explained that he even contemplated how he would continue to work as he called his manager lamenting about continuing to live a lie.

He detailed the devastating conversations he had with his manager that saw him questioning how he would ‘handle’ everything and revealing that he needed to come out, adding that he was prepared for any judgements as he thought it would get him blacklisted from Hollywood. 

‘Pre-transition I always had a sense of wanting to flee,’ Elliot revealed before opening up about why he sought love before coming out.

In the podcast, he revealed that he now ‘feels free’ after transitioning and added that he felt a way that he ‘never thought was possible’

He added that it has been a ‘gamechanger’ before sharing how he felt pre-transition (pictured in 2007)

The star admitted that starring in the flick as pregnant teen Juno MacGuff and being forced to dress a certain way ‘almost killed’ him. He is pictured in the 2007 movie

Although the actor found it ‘so hard to exist and function’ in relationships, he craved being in love because it felt safer than being alone. 

‘[In my] relationships in my past, I was selfish because I would fall in love just so I could have a moment to breathe,’ he said. 

Prior to his transition, he dated Samantha Thomas (2015-2017), Emma Portner (2018-2020), whom he went on to marry before coming out in 2020 and the pair split.

Now, the actor noted he no longer had to be in a relationship to fill his time. 

‘I feel exhilarated by the fact that I can be alone. I’m very much enjoying connecting with people, maybe having some fun, but sort of just being on my own right now,’ he said. 

‘So, I’m single.’ 

He also shared that his relationship with acting was ‘so much better’ now that he had transitioned. 

‘Literally everything in my life is better now,’ Elliot added.

‘There’s this ability to just exist every day on set and just be on my body.’ 

Although the actor found it ‘so hard to exist and function’ in relationships, he craved being in love because it felt safer than being alone

Prior to his transition, he dated Emma Portner (2018-2020), whom he went on to marry before coming out in 2020 and the pair separated

He admitted that he ‘struggled with food’ and lost so much weight that he ‘collapsed multiple times.’ He is pictured left in 2008 before his transition and right in 2022 after the transition

https://youtube.com/watch?v=cDkFzpe2VPg%3Frel%3D0

He shared that he no longer struggled to live life, but instead fully immersed himself in it. 

Elliot said he also reminded himself how thankful he was everyday, adding that he experienced ‘gender euphoria’ when doing basic tasks like drinking coffee. 

The Juno actor – who knew he was trans from a young age – noted that the trans community was huge reason he felt so free.

He added that Pageboy helped people ‘feel less alone, carry less shame, talk to their parents in a better way.’

At the end of the podcast, the actor shared advice for parents who had children who wanted to transition. 

He suggested they ‘create gentleness and support change.’

In the past, Elliot has spoken out about the ‘intense’ depression and anxiety he battled before coming out as transgender, admitting that he would have ‘severe panic attacks’ when he was asked to wear dresses to public events.

As a kid, Elliot – who grew up in Nova Scotia – was bullied by his classmates, which he said had a long-lasting effect on his mental health. He is pictured as a child

Elliot (pictured as a kid) admitted that getting ‘teased, made fun of, and called names on a daily basis’ often got in his head, especially since he was ‘already feeling so much shame’ 

He admitted that he suffered from ‘intense’ depression and anxiety, and would ‘struggle with food’ – losing so much weight that he ‘collapsed multiple times.’

As a kid, Elliot – who grew up in Nova Scotia – was bullied by his classmates, which he said had a long lasting effect on his mental health.

He admitted that getting ‘teased, made fun of, and called names on a daily basis’ often got in his head, especially since he was ‘already feeling so much shame.’

Elliot added that the bullies left ‘a whole bunch of s***’ that he had to ‘dig through and unlearn’ in his adult life.

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