Ah, Christmas – the holiday that brings so many families together to enjoy each other’s company.

But for singletons, their relationship status can quickly become the subject of uncomfortable conversations around the turkey.

Questions like, ‘When are we getting grandchildren?’ and ‘What happened to whatstheirname, we liked them?’ can unfortunately abound.

According to Bumble, one in four (24%) gen Z and millennials aged 18 to 31 say that dating and relationship questions over the festive period make them feel unvalued or unworthy.

On top of that, over 1 in 3 (38%) say friends and family have made them feel bad for not bringing a partner to events as their plus one, so it’s hardly surprising that 30% of them say that they feel more self-conscious about being single during the holidays.

Sure, Gran’s heart might be in the right place when she says, ‘It’ll happen when you least expect it,’ but that empty platitude doesn’t make the invasive questions, or overt judgement from other people you’re related to any easier to handle.

Even the happily single can find themselves being made to feel bad for their life choices during this most wonderful time of the year.

So how can people deal with single shaming during the festive season?

Bumble’s resident sex and relationship expert, Dr Caroline West, has some tips on how to deal with those awkward pointed questions and comments.

“Are you still single?” 

Depending on the tone, this question can say a lot without saying much at all.

Dr Caroline said: ‘More people are practising being consciously single and waiting for the right person.

‘Simply letting your family or friends know that you are intentionally dating, taking your time to find someone that aligns with your values rather than rushing into a relationship, can address this question perfectly.’

“Do you not want children?“

Frankly, that’s none of their business, and if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.

‘Having children is something that happens in your own time and quite simply isn’t something that everyone wants,’ said Dr Caroline.

‘This is a very personal matter so you are well within your rights to change the subject and shut down the conversation.’

“You need to be less fussy“

Unfortunately, some people’s answer to the question of why you’re single is that it’s a you problem.

‘Friends and family often think they know best when it comes to relationships,’ said Dr Caroline,’ sometimes suggesting that you need to lower your standards.

‘Let it be known that you’re not willing to settle. You’re looking to find someone who has the same interests, values and ambitions as you, rather than simply accepting someone who shows superficial attention or affection.

‘Remind them it’s better to be happy alone than unhappy with someone.’

“What is wrong with you?” 

This is the harshest question of the bunch, even if it’s jokingly asked over a Christmas cracker.

If someone does have the absolute cheek to say it, Dr Caroline said: ‘Nothing! That is the answer.

‘However, we appreciate this can be a trickier one to handle. Whilst often said in jest, it can still knock your confidence. Let us reiterate that there is nothing wrong with you, nor being single.’

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