Whether you’re watching a relative, friend or colleague get married, wedding days are filled with joy.
And often some of the most memorable parts of a wedding can happen at the speech section: it might be the father of the bride making an emotional toast, a best man telling an inappropriate anecdote, or a groom gushing over his partner.
But what if you are the person taking the stand? How do you go about making a really memorable speech – in the best way?
A woman is currently going viral on TikTok for getting it completely wrong – so what lessons can be learned from her unrehearsed and nervous dialogue?
We’ve asked experts on how to deliver a strong speech and, ultimately, not have a shocker up there.
Also, we’ve got top tips for giving an impromptu speech – as you never know when someone might call you up at a special occasion.
These are the dos and don’ts to keep in mind.
Do…
Remember size matters
Heidi Ellert, who runs bespoke speech writing service Speechy, says length is important.
She explains: ‘The key is to be able to deliver your speech under ten minutes (including room for laughter). You can’t say much if it’s less than 700 words and you don’t want to go over 1,300.’
Include humour
Heidi says every speaker should aim for a few laughs – ideally one in the first 30 seconds.
She notes: ‘Laughter immediately bonds people. It’s the social juice that gets people in the mood to party and creates those feel-good vibes that can become a happy memory.’
But try and let it come naturally, from a funny anecdote or a witty observation – definitely don’t Google wedding jokes.
Be genuine
Avoid the clichés – as these come across as very rehearsed.
Use notes
‘Not using notes is a bit like doing a wheelie – impressive, but ultimately unnecessary and a bit show-offy,’ says Heidi.
‘Certainly try to memorise your speech but have your notes there on the day so you can refer to them (rather than read them).’
Also, they will really help with flow and can act as a gentle reminder if you freeze up at all.
Be yourself and conversational
Heidi stresses it’s important to deliver your speech in a conversational tone and smile throughout it.
‘If you look like you’re enjoying it, others will too,’ she adds.
‘Smiling has been proven to be infectious and even a fake smile can trick your body into relaxing.’
Rehearse
Anthony Garvey, the managing director at Confident Presenting, says practice is really important and is a good way to see how your speech lands.
‘Practice your speech beforehand in front of a trusted family member,’ he says.
‘They will tell you if the stories are too racy and the jokes don’t work.’
Don’t…
Let your speech turn into a tedious ‘thank you’ list
It’s not the Oscars, even though it might feel like it.
Heidi adds there’s no need to name-check anyone and everyone – if you must, simply do the essentials.
Avoid too much embarassment
‘You don’t want to embarrass the couple too much – a light roasting is OK but don’t start sharing all their darkest secrets,’ says London-based wedding planner Andi Benson.
‘You don’t want to make the guests uncomfortable.’
Drink too much alcohol
‘It can be tempting to have a drink or two to calm the nerves,’ adds Anthony.
But this can backfire.
If you want a truly memorable speech you’ll want to be on your best form.
Just remember there will be plenty of time for celebratory drinks after your speech.
How to do a spontaneous speech:
- Do introduce yourself.
- Crack a joke about how this is an impromtu speech (ask guests to help you make it go viral on social media – it’ll break the ice).
- Share a fun story about how you know the couple and that’s how you ended up making this speech.
- Unless you are a great orator, allow yourself 30 seconds to think your thought before saying it out loud,
- Make sure you thank the couple for having you and all the guests there.
From Divya Chadha, the founder of A Klass Apart – a luxury destination wedding planning company.
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