When we were told that my partner would never father a child, we sought a sperm donor.

I asked around and discovered a guy that my friend had used. He lived nearby and offered the “natural method”.

He explained that he was willing to come round, have full sex with me for a flat fee of £600.

My partner could watch if he wanted to because the sex meant nothing; my donor simply considered himself a “service provider” offering no passion or emotional attachment.

My partner and I talked about it and decided it was a good deal (although he didn’t ultimately watch). The impregnation took place one Saturday afternoon.

I was nervous and worried about my body, but I needn’t have bothered. My donor was clean, considerate, and professional. He arrived promptly and showered. We did the dirty deed twice (just to make sure) and he left with his cash in hand.

But now I can’t stop thinking about him. The truth is that I’ve fallen for him – hard. I fancy him more than my partner. Is that terrible?

I’ve secretly met him for sex in a hotel three more times, but at £600 a pop, the cost is crippling me. He seems to like me. We
always chat and have a laugh, but his touch is all I can think about.

The reality is that I’m not going to get pregnant any time soon because I’m still on the pill. I’m a tad frightened and conflicted about whether I’m ready for motherhood.

My partner is a wonderful man, but I have to confess, that a lot of my love and respect for him died when I heard that he fires blanks. Where do I go from here?

JANE SAYS: The bottom line is that you’re paying £600 a throw to cheat on your partner. This is unsustainable and ridiculous. Presumably you’re paying out for the
hotel room too. I get it that you’re infatuated with your sperm donor, but your bloke deserves better.

Isn’t he already suffering enough knowing that he can never father a child?

Not only are you lying and cheating but you’re playing with fire. How many other people does this donor have unprotected sex with?

If you can’t trust yourself to be faithful to your partner, if you’re not completely committed to your relationship, then I suggest you rethink this whole set-up. Accepting sperm from a stranger was always going to be risky.

What do you know of this man’s history or habits? His general or mental health?

Or any inherited or genetic problems within his family?

Stop deluding yourself – he’s not the slightest bit interested in being your lover, he’s simply milking you.

As for you not being sure about motherhood, that’s another matter altogether.

A baby deserves a better environment and family than this. Get your sexual health checked out and start thinking like a grown-up.

Source: Read Full Article